What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Monday, October 30, 2017

Martin World News



Today I have a selection of stories that, while not uproariously funny, should cause enough head scratching to make your family members wonder if they should be calling the Lice Police.  Starting with:

ITEM:   Political correctness meets "unclear on the concept", French style. 



This story, from the UK's Telegraph, is about a political row between France and Poland over this statue of Pope John Paul II.  The statue stands in Ploermel, a town in French Brittany.  And the problem is that the Cross over the Pontiff's marble head breaks French rules about separation of Church and State.  The praying Pope, apparently is okay; but the CROSS must go.  This has sparked a drive by Poland to save the statue- created by a Russian-born Georgian, just to add to the international nature of the fooferal- to send it back to the Pope's native Poland where the godless won't be able to desecrate it.

The head scratch- How is it a man who SYMBOLISES his faith is okey-dokey, but the Cross that symbolises the POWER of said faith, is not?  Yet another example of the obvious signs of mental illness currently gripping the world of atheism.


ITEM:  Aren't we just being a bit picky- or is it really just a little cold?  From the BBC:



This train, run in Germany by Deutsche Bahn, is at the center of another controversy, which depending on how much you turn your head off its moorings to see a different angle, may have a bit more to it.  A jury picked 25 names of famous Germans with which to name a set of spanking new high-speed trains.  And the name for this one?  The Anne Frank.  And this is a problem why?


A German conservative MP, Iris Eberl, tweeted that it was a "tasteless" choice, as Anne Frank and other Jews had been sent by train to their deaths.


On the one hand, I think this one is a bit of a reach.  On the other, I can see the tasteless elements of society turning every ride into a string of Auschwitz jokes.  Scratch away, whilst I cue up story #3.


ITEM: In a way, I kinda go along with this one...




From the BBC:

Calls have been made to ban the Coca-Cola truck from Liverpool this Christmas amid concerns about obesity levels in the city.
Liverpool's Liberal Democrat leader Richard Kemp said the city is "in the grip of an obesity epidemic".
He believes Coca-Cola's popular festive vehicle promotes a product which is "grossly unhealthy", as first reported in the Liverpool Echo.


Now I've always found Coke grossly unhealthy.  Or at least gross.  Which leads into this related story from the Japan Times:

  Pepsi Japan does a different, allegedly halloween-themed drink every year, and this year the halloween cola seems to look like Pepto-Bismol.  But how does it taste?

While this year’s soda has some cherry taste, it gets countered by an aftertaste that is closer to (extremely sugary) bubble gum. A few sips are OK, but trying to get through the whole bottle can be a challenge. It may be good for shots on the night of Oct. 31, but it’s probably best shared with friends.

They go on to explain that Pepsi Japan tries to go for the candy angle of halloween, and thus the bubble-gum concoction rather than something that, say, resembles blood or similar ichor.



ITEM: Next, we take a swing through the industrial marketplace, starting with a BBC story about Japan's Kobe Steel.  For those of you that missed this story, the latest far-east mishap involved Kobe getting busted for shipping several customers a lower-grade steel than claimed.  The excuse at the time was that the Japanese "culture " of pleasing the boss at all costs lead to inspection tests getting fudged, and possibly bad metal going out to customers in the auto, train, and aerospace industry.  That's always good news.  Today, as a result...


Japan's Kobe Steel has withdrawn its full-year profit guidance due to uncertainty around the cost of its data falsification scandal.
Last month it admitted to fabricating data on the quality of some products, possibly for more than a decade.
Kobe Steel supplied those products to companies around the world but no safety issues have yet been reported.
The firm, whose shares have plunged more than 30% due to the scandal, will also cancel its interim dividend.

Gotta love the BBC headline:  Kobe Steel scraps profit forecast on fake data scandal.

But we're not finished with Japan yet, because just a day or so ago, we got this one... (Japan Times)

Subaru Corp. said Monday it will file for a recall of some 255,000 vehicles next week after uncertified workers were found to have carried out final car inspections.

The company said the practice was aimed at letting workers who had completed certain training and exams have hands-on experience. The uncertified inspectors also borrowed seals from authorized inspectors to sign off on documents.


Subaru President Yasuyuki Yoshinaga admitted Friday at a news conference that the malpractice was conducted systematically.

So you come up with a car with faked material inspections, followed up by incompetent assembly inspection.  Or, you could buy American.



ITEM:  Meanwhile, in Russia, courtesy The Moscow Times...



For the last couple of years, the "My Street" public works program has been cutting a $2 billion hole in the streets of the capitol and the Russian budget.  Last week, the project was extended for another 2 years, adding at least another $1.5 billion to it.  And not just because it's such a roaring success...


Famous for the green-and-white construction fences strewn throughout central Moscow, “My Street” has gained infamy for sloppy and at times unnecessary construction work. Critics describe the project as part of a scheme to siphon off money to construction companies with ties to City Hall.

But that's not the only problem. 

An investigation conducted by the news website Meduza revealed that Moscow’s demand for granite has caused suppliers to divert deliveries from three funeral homes in Siberia and central Russia.

“Because of orders from Moscow, Ural granite workers behave rudely and have almost stopped taking orders for small lots of 300-400 square meters,” a Novosibirsk funeral home said.

Which has made it near impossible for the residents of Siberia to get tombstones for their deceased loved ones.

To compensate for the shortages, granite imports from China and Ukraine have reportedly increased.

Which of course made me chuckle because the next article trumpeted "Imports from China up 22%"


ITEM:  Also in Russia...



This is Ksenia Sobchak.  She is running for President of Russia in 2018.  I think she may have a problem though- not counting the hit squads Putin is probably already prepping for her.  He may not need bother...


The Bell news outlet cited two sources as saying that Vitaly Shkliarov, a political consultant who worked on the Bernie Sanders campaign in the 2016 U.S. presidential race will work on Sobchak’s campaign. 

Gee, where to go here- the "Russian collusion in Sanders' campaign" angle, the "fixing primaries Russian-style" angle, or the "Yeah, 'cause it worked out so well with Bernie" angle.  Decisions, decisions....


ITEM:  Getting what you paid for, part one, via the Mirror...

A woman used a popular restaurant-search app to order a birthday cake.  Being from India, she must have needed to make note she didn't want a "spicy" cake.  Remind me not to have a birthday party in Mumbai.  Anyway, she didn't give the bakers instructions on what to put ON the cake, and thus she got...




After sharing this pic on twitter, she let the company know she wasn't pleased with the results.  The company swiftly sent an apology...





ITEM:  You get what you pay for, part 2, from the Japan Times...




This is a insurance covered ointment for eczema.  The problem being that insurers had paid out nearly ¥9.3 billion ($1.4 billion) in claims when it was discovered that it also made a cheap (because insurance paid for it) cold cream.

Hirudoid, considered an “ultimate beauty cream,” normally costs ¥1,185 ($178.26) for 50 grams, a price that drops to about ¥360 ($54.15), or 30 percent of the original cost, when a patient is reimbursed through insurance.


ITEM:  Finally, CNN brings us the most important controversy of the day....




Which emoji for cheeseburgers is correct?  Twitter warriors claim both are messed up- Google has the cheese on the bottom, Apple put lettuce on the bottom.  What can be done?

Following backlash on Twitter, Google CEO Sundar Pichai tweeted he would "drop everything" on Monday to address the debate, clarifying "if folks can agree on the correct way to do this!"

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Sunday Message: the meaning of, Love One Another



I see it a lot on Facebook.  Supposedly Christian people acting in anger, bigotry, hatred.  Stop by a Catholic blog post and mention Martin Luther in a kind light and you will find them.  I have friends who spend not a thought condemning those they decide are worthy to hell.  Over and over I watch Jesus' words to James and John in Luke 9:


55 But He turned and rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. 56 For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.”


I'm not holding myself guiltless here.  But there are a lot of extreme cases, from the woman from Pennsylvania just sentenced to prison for beating her 13 year old daughter over not getting her memorized Bible verses right, to myself being called a heretic because I choose not to pull out a musty book of church fathers' sayings to determine what a Bible verse is getting at.  We are a land of ease and plenty, and all it seems to buy us is division.  John got what Jesus was getting at when He chastised him;  he explained it in 1 John 4:

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.


This was brought into focus for me in an article in the latest Decision magazine from the Billy Graham organization.  In it was an article from an Egyptian convert telling his story.  He had joined the Muslim Brotherhood because a friend of his and his friend's father joined.  Later, he met "a German atheist" who befriended him and convinced him to go to a Bible study "because Christian girls were able to socialize more freely."

But instead of picking up girls, he picked up on the love of the Christians.  "Their prayers were not like the memorized prayers I recited.  ...they believed God actually loved them and cared about the details of their lives."  He found a Bible (his brother had dated a Christian girl using the same method), and began to learn.  Most of all, he began to NOTICE.  He noticed Muslim "brothers" and how they treated others.  He watched as his friend's family, "once so successful and happy, became sullen and bitter." and then he looked at the Bible study group he was in and said to himself, "The young people of the Christian group were so much better than that.  If Christianity was so bad, why was it producing people who were so good?"


And this DOES still happen in our nation.  The great things loving Christians are doing, and sharing on social media, vastly overwhelm the sour grapes and bad apples, swinging their personal swords of vengeance everywhere.  But here's the thing-  IF you are a young non-Christian looking for an answer, where do you think Satan is going to point you?  Christians, beware what you comment on social media.  Do you really think calling all Muslims disgusting goat-lovers and hell bound is helping anyone?  Sure, it makes you feel better to fling your rage in every direction, but how do you think, "I expressed my own rage against the lost" is going to feel when your Judge asks before the throne, "And what did you do in My Name?"


The author of the article mentioned some facts that our secular, built-to-gain-ratings-and-foment-division media misses on a consistent basis:  "Many Muslims are open to hearing the Gospel right now.  The brutality of ISIS has shown Syria what Islam is all about.  Many of them now say, "I'm no longer Muslim."  When we talk with Iranians, they say Ayatollah Khomeini was the "best evangelist" in the history of Iran for turning so many young people off of Islam.  And the oppressive presidency of Morsi in 2012 and 2013 caused many Egyptians to renounce Islam."


There then is our challenge.  To love one another and draw others unto Christ.  But we are doing a darn fine job of blowing it.  I am currently reading a biography on the great Nez Perce leader Chief Joseph.  While negotiating with the less-than-honest US Government about possible relocation to a reservation, he asked if the reservation would give them a school.  When told yes, he said he didn't want it.  "Schools will bring churches, and churches missionaries."  And referring to the "division of labor" between the various denominations' missionaries, he added, " And missionaries will argue about God.  I would not have my people learn this."

Friday, October 27, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXVI454102759



And another one joins the big band in rock'n'roll heaven.  Fats Domino had 13 R&B top 15s before ever making the pop chart the first time on Cashbox (second on Billboard), but soon made up for it.  In fact, the Hall Of Famer was on the Cashbox chart in two places this week on Time Machine- one of them in the Panel picks!  He kicked off his CB top ten career with Ain't That A Shame, which he took to #2, and added 8 more CB top tens, including I'm Walkin', Walking To New Orleans (his last top ten in June 1960), and of course....

"...I found my thrill..."
...Blueberry Hill!  His Hot 100 career kicked off with I'm Going Home in 1952, and ended in February of 1962 with You Win Again- the first charting #30 on BB, the last #30 on CB.  And this week, you'll get a double dose!  At #117 this week is his up and coming soon-to-be #8 hit, and Panel contestant this week...






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So let's jump right in to the Panel's pick this week, with last week's winner and POTM  Conway Twitty!  Good to see you, sir!

Yeah?  So whut?

Um, well, this is where you...

You got somethin' ta drink up in here?

Uh, I have a little bit of Long Island Ice Tea, but...

Ice Tea?  What the hell is THAT?

It's a mixed drink, you see, and...

Is it one'a those foo-foo drinks, with the umbrella and...

I think we oughtta get to the tunes, if you...

YOU get to the "tunes".  I'm goin' to the bar.  SLAM

Sigh.  Well, maybe the Everlys will win again this week.  Anyway, let me get to the tunes- 12 contestants from 32 stations, so it's building back up now.


Alphabetically, Fats' Be My Guest is at the top of the list.
Then Mr Go-To-The-Bar there was at #21 with Danny Boy.
Billy (Crash) Craddock, an Aussie who turned country in the 70's and scored #1s with Rub It In and Ruby Baby, was a rockabilly singer back then whose only top 40 hit was Don't Destroy Me, which was at #78 this week.
Della Reese's powerful vocal on Don't You Know was at #5.
Cliff Richard and what were then the Drifters (and after our Drifters threatened to sue, became the Shadows) were at #51 with one of his rare cross-ocean hits back then, Living Doll.
Bobby Darin was at the top, for the fifth of seven weeks, with Mack The Knife.
The Fleetwoods were at #3 with Mr Blue.
Johnny Mathis was at #28 with his version of Misty.
Neil Sedaka sat at #42 on his way up with Oh, Carol.
Paul Anka was the CB runner-up with Put Your Head On My Shoulders, which Bobby D. kept out of the top spot for three of those seven weeks.
The Islanders, a group led by Randy Starr, whose main claim to fame was writing Kissin' Cousins for Elvis, were at #29 with The Enchanted Sea.
And finally, we have Jane Morgan who peaked at #39 back at the end of August with With Open Arms. 

Now this was a two-song race, but I don't wanna give you just two to work with just yet.  So let me give you just the top tens this week to choose from.  Vote for Bobby Darin, Paul Anka, The Fleetwoods, or Della Reese.  If you behave, I might cut it down to the big 2 in a bit.

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Debut #1 of two comes in at #10.  The dude- yes, this is a great falsetto vocalist- is named Matt Koenig, but records as the Undercover Dream Lovers.  He/they come in at #10 with:





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So this week, we made it all the way to #4 before we hit the 6D victim this week, and we start the journey there with the question- name something that 3 Dog Night and Blues Image had in common (other than the obvious early 70s pop band stuff)?  One thing would be that both had hits produced by Richard Polodor.  Before he was a producer/engineer, Polodor also got title credit on a tune by himself and drummer Sandy Nelson, Let There Be Drums, which hit #9 in '61.  And Sandy Nelson was the drummer for the Hollywood Argyles on Alley-Oop, went to the same high school as Jan and Dean, and had the six degrees song this week- the #4 Teen Beat.



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And our other debut comes in at #7- and this is one of those songs that... well, you know how I've said that some songs I have no idea if they have a shot at number one when I start them?  Well, this one I can quote a certain comic book thunder god who once said, "Say rather, WHEN..."  With her second trip into the M10, here is Mo Kenney:





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Stat Pack:

Dave "Baby" Cortez and his Happy Organ were at #101 with Piano Shuffle.

Bobby Rydell, best known for Wild One, had the #59 in '59 with We Got Love, which was his first top ten eventually.

For once, the UK and the USA share a #1- Mack The Knife.  Is that a clue?  Well, Mack is one of the big two this week- and the Fleetwoods are the other.  Who claims the 11-8 victory?  Tune in a bit later.

In fact, right after I give you the rest of the M10:

The top of last week is the bottom this week- Squeeze falls 6 to #9 with Innocence In Paradise, and its fellow former #1, Dent and Frankie's Across The Multiverse, slips a similar number to #8.  That's a couple of good 8-week runs!

Next comes the "up one notch to..." gang:  Nothing But Thieves at #6 with Broken Machine, Darius Rucker to #5 with Don't, and Molly Rankin and Alvvays to #4 with Your Type.

The Derevolutions slam up 6 to #3 with Something Good.

Last week's two-week number one, Ducktails and Light A Candle, slip to #2.

And that means the new number one- for as long as they can hold the Derevs and Mo off...








...Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers with Walls (No. 3)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel pick, next week's POTM, goes to....



...The Fleetwoods and Mr. Blue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now, before you toddle off, how about that other Fats Domino song on the charts this week... on its way down after peaking at # 9, pausing this week at 78....


Wednesday, October 25, 2017

The Lonely Onion?



I wasn't going to post tonight, but I had to share this one.  I was news-perusing on BBC and hit an article about the city above- Canberra, Australia.  The article was about the fun various wags are having with the announcement that respected travel site Lonely Planet had named Canberra the third best city to visit in the whole world.  Comments generally ran along the lines of this tweeted response:

I agree with Lonely Planet. Canberra is an incredible place to visit. Nowhere else do you get the joy of finally leaving Canberra.


or this headline:

"It's more than just politicians and roundabouts," said the Special Broadcasting Service.


Others rallied to the city's defense, and I was just about to ask my own Australian friends where they fell in on the issue... and then I hit the bottom of the article, and saw this....


The city was named third behind Seville in Spain and .....


Are you ready?




Wait for it....



...Detroit in the US.






...and at this point, Chris says to himself, "Boy, either BBC got BBPranked, or Lonely Planet has become a satire site.

From USAToday's article on the story:

In September, FBI statistics showed Detroit was No. 1 as the most violent big city in America, and earlier this month an online financial news group, 24/7 Wall St., ranked Detroit as the No. 1 worst American city to live in.


Worth noting that #8 on the list was San Juan, Puerto Rico.  One hopes that the article was written before the hurricane, or I'd be asking if this was the "most in need of urban renewal" list.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Stegosauri



The stegosaurus.  An animal with a brain so small (about half the size of Scrappy's, despite outweighing him by a factor of 226) that he had to have a nerve cluster in its back hips some 20 times bigger to run his ass end.


And we have a lot of people in politics that are just like this.  Certainly Congresswomen Frederica Wilson and Maxine Waters have proved that they could use a brain pacemaker in their back pockets.  Wilson isn't on the stupid list because of her creative editing of what the President said to the fallen soldier's wife- that makes her a liar, not stupid.  But calling herself a "rock star" and wearing that ridiculous outfit, with the cowboy hat?  That nudges her over.  Maxine Waters has a litany too long to go in depth in right now.

And what about said President?  His latest Twitter gaffe may get Bo Bergdahl's trial (and well deserved sentence for desertion) thrown out  because he was stupid enough to tweet ANYTHING about it.  Certainly I could make a whole file on him alone, if he wasn't so easily overshadowed by Dems tripping over themselves to join the club.

And Hillary?  I see today she decided on the FDR model of crutches for an appearance.  Are we trying to wrap ourselves in a man who, despite whatever failings he had, was courageous enough to fight polio to a draw?  Every day seems to bring us another layer in the "I lost because" story, each one worse than the last.


How about Rachel Maddow, and her conspiracy theory about the US deaths in Niger (a theory so bad even the HuffPost, who would gleefully go along with her if the story made the least bit of sense, asked WTH she was doing)?  And on that subject, let's throw in the previously mentioned Ms Waters, who said this event was "Trump's Benghazi".  Except that the deceased in THIS case were trained warriors who were attacked in the performance of their job, where the fallen in Benghazi were unarmed diplomats whom the Obama administration under SecState "Crutches" Clinton put in the line of fire without protection.  Not often you can have one story exposes three stegosauri, eh?

But let's look a little deeper.  A member of Laurie's family, obediently commenting without questioning the story, reposted the already-exposed CNN story about Ms Wilson and her fictitious rendition of the facts, then told myself and Laurie's brother "maybe you don't know the whole story" (Whereupon Laurie's brother thoroughly disproved the story and demonstrated why you don't simply swallow the narrative.)  I think she decided to ignore us afterwards- her current "crowd" is, shall we say, the "kneel at the national anthem" crowd.  And to keep her membership, she has to forgo common sense and thinking for herself as a general rule.  And there are a million dozen like her out there.  And they vote.


And that is how we get persons like Waters and Wilson in Congress in the first place.  This person represents "our" culture, "our" way of thinking (which has worked out SO well), and as long as she's "one of us", we'll keep right on voting for her no matter what anyone tells us ('cause we ain't gonna listen).  And, it's how we get our Boehners, Pelosis, Pauls, and Ryans as well.

And people that keep voting these same people in year after year?  Well, that's how we end up getting our Trumps.  Go ask the Austrians about the crew they just put in, or the French about the one that just missed.

In 2008, Hillary was poised to win the Dem nomination.  But... I think the good ol' boys decided to give Obama the shot first.  Just settle down, Hillary, you'll get your shot afterwards if you behave.  And when it was "her shot," I believe they said, "Well, if she wins, we put in the first black AND the first woman.  And if she don't, at least we still own the media and the colleges, we can make the other guy look bad and still win overall."

BUT... I also think Romney got told the same thing by the good ol' boys in '08, and he lost on his turn too.  And Trump was the outrider, the guy unbeholden to the good ol boys, who could make a REAL change...

...or was he just the one let in to prove to Mr and Mrs America, you really don't WANT all that change... just let us tell you who to vote for, because we'll weed out the CRAZIES...?


Maybe so, maybe no.  But it is plausible.  And with all the stegosauri out there, it's possible.

Just a reminder, though.  The stegosaurus is EXTINCT.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXV453101958



So are you ready to play a game of tennis?  Yesterday, the first video game made its debut...

Tennis for Two was first shown on October 18, 1958.
 The game was rendered as a horizontal line, representing the tennis court, and a short vertical line in the center, representing the tennis net. The first player would press the button on their controller to send the ball, a point of light, over the net, and it would either hit the net, reach the other side of the court, or fly out of bounds. The second player could then hit the ball back with their controller while it was on their side, either before or after it bounced on the ground.Hundreds of visitors lined up to play the new game during its debut.
 (Inventor Walter) Higinbotham claimed later that "the high schoolers liked it best, you couldn't pull them away from it." Due to the game's popularity, an upgraded version was shown the following year, with enhancements including a larger screen and different levels of simulated gravity.
 Players could set the game to simulate the gravity levels of the Moon or Jupiter.
 Higinbotham referred to the game as Tennis for Two, though a placard attached to the 1959 version titled it "Computer Tennis". After the 1959 exhibition, the game was dismantled so its components could be put to other uses. (wiki)




But now, we're at the 19th of October, 1958, and it's time for music!  This week, fan favorites the Everly Brothers return, to deal with being the 6D victims; my own all time scariest movie makes an appearance in the hot 100; our #58 in '58 involves a top ten hit from the '70s; and the all time greatest hits... of Norway?  Sure, hop on in, grab a joystick, and let's steer in for some musical fun!



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Since I'd like to get this over with feature our guests first, I'll have to let you know that the highest ranked Cashbox hit this week that didn't get a vote from our 17 Panel stations belongs to our POTM duo this week- the Everly Brothers!  Hi, Don, Phil!

P:  I'm Phil, he's Don.

D: He wasn't looking at either of us in particular, dipstick.

P:  Well, in case he didn't know...

D:  This is our fourth time on the show- or third- I think he knows.

P: Yeah? So is it three times or four?

Three, I believe.  Can...

D:  I MEANT I think he knows who is who.

P: Now he does, anyway.

OOOKay, let me kick this segment off.  It was your hit Bird Dog, which sat at #2 on CB this week, but got no Panel votes.

P:  How does THAT happen?

It just does.  Johnny Mathis got no votes at #1 last week.

D:  Well, that I can understand.  That's "mommy" music.

Huh?

P: You know, songs your Mom listens to when you're out catching Buddy Holly at the Armory...

D:  What're you looking at ME for?  MY mom is YOUR Mom...

Okay... anyhow, that tune was one of many of your hits written by Boudleaux Bryant.  Another was Love Hurts, which you guys didn't release as a single, but Roy Orbison did.

P:  I really like Roy.  Dug those sunglasses.

D:  You idiot, those were blind people glasses.

Actually, they weren't.  Just sunglasses.  And Love Hurts was a big hit in Australia, but just a b-side here- until Nazareth redid it.  And top ten-ing it here was nothing compared to what that tune did in Norway.  It rode the charts for well over a year, becoming the country's all-time greatest hit- by a wide margin, still today.  So I thought it might be fun if we let the audience in on a few of the other "Norway's Greatest Hits" that they might know.

D: Will we know any?

A couple.  Here, start reading them off, right there.

P: Okay...Hey!  Here's one we all know!  The Kingston Trio were at #35 with Tom Dooley!

Which is funny, because that is one of the four songs that got Panel votes this week.

D: An' we didn't...  ANYway, next we have the Bee Gees with Too Much Heaven at #30...
P:Oh, look!  Jim Reeves is at #28 with He'll Have To Go.  I like Jim Reeves...
D: You like everybody.
P: I don't like YOU, stinky-head...

Guys... the list, please.

P: A group with some really cute girls called ABBA have the #27 with S.O.S... and #11 with Dancing Queen!
D:  Hey, don't cut ahead! Next is... um... Boney M...
P: (Giggles)
D:... and Rivers Of Babylon at # 25.
P: (Still giggling) An' at #15 is.. chuckle... George Baker...snicker... with Una Paloma Blanca..
D: Seriously, Phil, will you please grow up!
P: (More giggling)... Boney M...

Okay, thanks, guys, I think I'll take it from here...  You're The One That I Want by Olivia and Travolta was their #12 all-time... the next two are kind of the long and short of things for me.  At #8 is one of my faves, Smokie's Living Next Door To Alice... while at #6 is probably IMHO the worst song Time Machine has ever brought me within earshot of, Baccara and Yes Sir, I Can Dance.  And two more I'd like to share:  The number four was Billy Swan's I Can Help, the all-time roller skating song; and at number 2- trailing by their rating system 1000+ points to 700 and change... you wanna get this one, guys?

P and D:  Jim Reeves with I Love You Because!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And with this week's lone debut, I give you a Boston duo who go by the moniker of the Derevolutions, with a song so quirky, so Archie's-on-speed-like I couldn't resist putting them at #9...







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And now at long last, this week's Panel, with 17 stations and 4 songs- and what a race!  The top three were 6-5-4!  And they are:

It's All In The Game by Tommy Edwards, the CB #1;
It's Only Make Believe by Conway Twitty, which sat at #10;
The aforementioned Tom Dooley, which was this week's big mover, leaping 40 spots from 58 to 18;
And for me, this week's puzzler- Cozy Cole with Topsy part 2, the national #9...

William Randolph "Cozy" Cole, jazz drummer, and band






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Stat Pack:

Our #58 in '58 belonged to the Royaltones with Poor Boy.  A rollicking instrumental with the "laughing sax" of George Katsakis, it would be much later in their career- 1962- that they would add a guitar player by the name of Dennis Coffey- who would go on to have a set of hits with his Detroit Guitar Band, including 1971's #6 Scorpio.

I knew 16 this week off the 60-song list- not bad...

With what might be a semi-regular feature in this era, let's look at the other top tens on CB that the Panel ignored:
Domenico Modugno's Volare was at #3- more on THAT in a bit...
Bobby Day's Rockin' Robin- one of those "wear the grooves off when we were kids" tunes- was at #5...
Little Anthony and the Imperials were at #7 with Tears On My Pillow...
And the Big Bopper was at #8 with Chantilly Lace!

The UK was topped by Connie Francis with Stupid Cupid, which was falling at #61 here.  The big both-sides hit was our 6D victim, as Bird Dog was 2 here and 6 there.

Oh, and speaking of Volare:  Domenico's version was at #13 in the UK this week- but there were two OTHER versions also charting!  Marino Marini and his quartet were at #17, and Dean Martin was at #3!!!!

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 And at #73 was a title so strange I had to bring it up- the 5 Blobs with The Blob.  Yes, this was the theme from the movie of the same name with Steve McQueen, which absolutely scared the crap out of me when I was 5 or 6, and pretty much led me to avoid the horror genre altogether...




I'll never forget that mechanic getting sucked underneath the car....  EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

The song itself was written by Burt Bacharach- and Mac David, Hal's brother ("Bacharach and Mac," lol!), and was performed by a studio group headed by one Bernie Knee- who was so cheesed about getting no credit for the work, he took out a big ad in Variety just to tell everyone about his part!


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And with that, it's time for the M10.

Jana Kramer has had a good 7 weeks on the chart, and drops now to #10 with I've Done Love.

Also falling to #8, a nine-week charter and three-time #1- Lucinda Williams and Six Blocks Away.

Nothing But Thieves climb to #7 with Broken Machine, up 3.

Then come a pair of one-notch-uppers:  Darius Rucker with Don't at #6, and Alvvays with Your Type at #5.

Zooming up 4 to #4 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers with Walls (No. 3).

And in stasis this week, Squeeze's Innocence In Paradise at 3, Dent and Frankie with Across The Multiverse for a third week at 2, and at #1....




...Ducktails for a second week with Light A Candle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on top of the Panel and next week's POTM....







...Conway Twitty and It's Only Make Believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conway's 6 beat Cozy's 5 and Tommy's 4 for the win this week!  And, if sober, he'll be with us next week as we go to 1959!

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

A fresh look at the NFL protests



We near the end of the Great Football Protest saga, thank Howard.  People celebrate the mighty boycott dropping ticket sales 31%,  which would be big except only about 20% of NFL ticket sales are single-game, so that makes 31% of 20%, or about 6%, which a lot of teams (NY Giants, for example) would likely be seeing by now anyway.  Roger Goodell goes from "The league stands for its players' rights of expression- as long as they support PC causes", to "Y'all should stand for the National Anthem- pretty please?"  And Budweiser tells the world (without really saying anything) that it is VERY concerned over what's going on.


As well they should be.  They could conceivably come out as the big corporate winners, with a little imagination.

I have looked at study after study tonight, and they all confirm what common sense tell me- there's NO, zero, nada correlation between that Bud Light ad you just watched for the fifth time in one game and the desire to pound at the doors of your neighborhood liquor store on Sunday, damning to hell the inventor of "blue laws".  TV ads simply do not increase beer buying.  At best, they talk you out of a Silver Bullet in favor of a Sam Adams.

But there is something that will.  Bear with me.


Based on an advertising price guide I found in my research, an advertiser (say Bud), buying 5 ads each on each of the week's 16 games will spend $12.3 million on 9 early Sunday games, $13 mil on 4 late afternoon games, $2 and a quarter million for Monday Night, $2.8 mill for Thursday night, and $3.5 million for Sunday Night.  That gives us a total of nearly $34 million a week.  Now, let's say that Anheuser Busch decides, as a public service, to pull all those ads, that really weren't getting them any sales anyway.  What to do with that 34 million?


Well, how about this:  The average price of a new car is said to be $34,500.  A-B could buy 981 new cars with that moolah.  Now say they ran an IN-Stadium promotion.  Divvying up would give you 16 cars per stadium.  Put 16 little stickers that say, "car", and a whole bunch that don't, on the bottoms of all the plastic cups and aluminum cans sold.  You get a winner, you get a car.

"Damn, dude, you know what a run on beer that would make?"


You betcha.  Beer sales would at least triple... from an estimated (in one place) 300 gallons a game, to say 1,000 gallons.   Now one might wanna consider the limited return on investment here- my sources are estimating A-B would be charging a minimum of $7 a can/cup for what cost them 40 cents- so they would be making about $74,000 or so on a $4200 beer investment.  Great for you and me, but enough for the purchase, delivery, etc, etc involved?  Who knows?  Still, that would come pretty close to $19 million or so a year pure profit...


But even a limited return is better than what they currently get on a $50 billion industry-wide yearly investment.   God know the beer vendors and concessions stands would make out, the city would see a rash of new game-day employment,  no doubt cabbies would love it, and the NFL would get a burst of great PR, at least until the amount of DUI fatalities crept upward.


But the best part?  Not only would a lot of the fans still hate the protesters, but the networks, who did such a fine job of blowing the whole mess out of all proportion, would reap the whirlwind as the re-directed advertising dollars flew out of their pockets, thus giving them a negative return for instigating this crap in the first place.


Chris!  Chris, wake up!  You're dreaming!  Think a moment.  A-B has spent the last fifteen years or so literally sitting on their hands while craft breweries whittle away their market share with superior product.  Do you really think they would willingly stop peeing all that money down the drain?


AND, now you are talking fans that are twice as drunk as usual, hating on the players that kneel during the anthem... You realize what that would mean...


Yes, I do.  Within a couple weeks, the players would be "scared straight" and things could get back to normal.


Sigh.  I really hope no one takes this serious...


Monday, October 16, 2017

Oh, boy! Pictures!

Mostly from Saturday and monday...


There was just a deer in that crap... stayed just long enough to say hello...

A few days ago, it looked like any other shelf fungi.  Today- SLIME MOLD!

Did I tell you- part of the clean up from putting in the towers was to PAVE THE TRAIL!  They weren't quite done Saturday, but were by Monday.  Of course. now they'll have to take down those "Caution- 1.2 miles of unimproved trail ahead" signs...

And then there was this bozo- sitting pretty as you please on the bus parking even as the socceristas were arriving for another day.


A groundskeeper said, "Yeah, they like to go out on the soccer fields and poop."  Well, did you ever think to give him a key to the porta-pot?


People were racing into the complex, and I was worried he might get hit trying to flee the scene.  But not to worry...




...Scrappy, ever the diligent detective, learned he had slipped away through the drain tiles.

Later Saturday, we had a visit with Peanut and crew.  Of course, I forgot the camera and had to do these by phone...



Peanut, the "Boss Baby", and big sis Lilly


"Damn right, boss baby.  Watch this!"


Moving on to tonight...



Pretty colors along the river...

Our first trip down the Duck Pond in quite a while.  First we scared the doe, who splashed off through the pond.  Then we scared the buck.  On the other hand, I'm getting better at deer butts.


I think we broke up the date- and was he p.o.ed!

See?  Getting better...

Then she came out, wondering where her big, brave buck got off to...

Hmm... not that way...


So the majority of clean up from the trail tower-work is done.  All that really remains is the work-bridge at the south end, with accompanying warning sign and porta pot, and a wee bit of stone...




...well, actually, about a 15-foot high pile of stone left over.  Oops, Ollie overbought, I guess....

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Sunday Message: Satan, defined



Sunday last I engaged during our morning walk in an imaginary philosophical exchange between myself and an atheist who was intellectually honest enough to allow the discussion point, "Say for a moment, there is a God...", the discussion starting with creation.  Now, science teaches us everything has a beginning.  That even the Big Bang had to come from something else.  Now, there are two ways to answer the question, "What is the Prime Beginning?" and if you are intellectually honest, the two answers are the same- either, "That is something we do not currently understand," and, "That is God."  Whichever one you believe in, you have to logically come to the concept of a Prime Beginning. 

Now, science will tell you that in the range of eternity, that eventually the multiverse will stumble onto a way to create everything- including the life we now live.  That some how, all the many "goldilocks zones" that are needed to explain intelligent life will be hit.  This requires one to believe, according to science, that a universe that could ONLY be created if the Big Bang hit a certain temperature in the first milliseconds- and if it were a ten-thousandth of a degree off in either direction the whole thing would collapse- and that said conditions could be hit by blind chance.  Then, it would ask that we believe that a certain planet, formed at a certain time in the development of said universe, placed at just the right distance from the raging radiations of the galactic core, around  a star of the proper combination of relatively benign radiations, at the right distance to allow the proper temperatures to allow liquid water (not to mention the right gases at its formation to even MAKE water), tilted on its axis just right to have seasons, with a proper sized and distanced counterweight to control its revolution around the star, protected from cosmic debris by a giant planet the proper distance away, with the right amount of mass so that its gravity separates out just the right mix of gases for a livable atmosphere, and a core to create a magnetic field of just the right strength, etc, etc.  All of that happening by chance, because if eternity's eternal, all of that can be stumbled upon.

Okay.

But now, let us reverse-engineer the topic.  IF we take God at His word, and He planned all that, why make it at all?  Here, we have to take the Bible at its word.  Christ is, for lack of a true way to explain this, the "physical", the "do-it" nature of God.  And the Church, the body of believers, is to be the "Bride Of Christ"- built painstakingly from US, cell by cell, molecule by molecule, to remove all disease, all cancer, all flaws.  Now, go back to a time BEFORE the creation of man, when God first made non-physical servants we call angels.  Just like with us, God wanted angels to serve Him of free will- but how do you produce free will when Your Nature is to be Holy, and holy only?  Say God perceives that the greater any being sees itself, the greater the chances to fall into glorifying itself.  Thus, you create Lucifer, a being as far above the other angels as we are above the ant.

And Lucifer is fine with his place- until he learns the plan God has for making His Bride.  This plan puts him on a MUCH lower rung, and he resents it.  He, and a minority of the other angels- perhaps the other "creme de la creme" angels, we don't know- turn against the plan, hoping to corrupt it, and keep their place.  But how to do it?


And this is where I realized that the plan he chose to corrupt is the same one he uses now.  Give man a little bit of knowledge- just enough to make him attempt to glorify himself.  "Eating the fruit won't kill you," he says to Eve. " No, it will give you KNOWLEDGE of good and evil, that you may BE LIKE UNTO GODS".  Not a lie at all, but certainly not told in a truthful manner.  Eve and her husband got that knowledge of evil and good, because for the first time, they had committed evil; now, they were like God, in that they knew what evil was; but it wasn't a good thing, because the bond with God was severed.  Lucifer left that detail out.


And this is what he has done to cause the most damage THROUGHOUT history.  He gave the "Church Fathers" just enough knowledge to lead them into a church that was corrupted by political power, by money, and by the "knowledge" they alone held- until Luther reminded us what Paul said- "I will know nothing but Christ, and Him crucified".  By sola scriptura, God through Luther gave us another chance.  Or look at Galileo.  Though the "church" forced him to recant what his eyes plainly saw, others proved with KNOWLEDGE that the church was in error- and the church was in error because they somehow misread the scriptures to say that Earth HAD to be central- "knowledge" leading to the glorification of man, and certainly NOT anything that God taught.

And Lucifer AKA Satan has continued to lead man away from God and towards self glorification by giving little tidbits of knowledge, somewhat true in themselves but turned in such a way to disprove God Himself- witness Darwin and the assertion that, because birds in a closed-off ecosystem will adapt to that ecosystem, that means that man himself is an adaptation from a glorified virus that developed into an amoeba, then a fish, then a monkey, etc.  Many are the examples of Satan's circular reasoning, my favorite being the concept of "index fossils"- ones that are found in a certain type of rock and thus we know how old they are because we know the age of the rock.  And we know the age of the rock because, well, it has that fossil in it.

Last week, I touched on Michio Kaku and his brilliant presentation of the theory of quantum mechanics- a theory that, unlike all others, was stumbled onto full-blown, and now scientists are trying to reverse engineer it (with no great success) to find out WHY it works.  And how some scientists, at risk of their careers, grudgingly admit that it  makes it impossible to believe in a creation without a Creator.  And the ones who refuse on the basis that, "We've come this far without relying on superstition, WE'LL figure it all out someday."  We don't need a GOD to figure it out.

A little knowledge, turned just slightly awry, with the motivation of self-glorification.  The sin that felled us then, and the sin that fells us now.  Because the height of Lucifer's "glory" is lies and destruction.  And if it ain't broke, he ain't gonna fix it.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Time Machine Co-ordinates VIXXIV452101357



So today, October 13, 1957, we get a front row seat for The Edsel Show, a musical variety show on CBS, sponsored by Ford to promote their new titular car.  The show went much better than the product; it starred Bing Crosby in a break that opened up television for him to conquer.  The set list included himself and Louis Armstrong reprising their song, Now You Has Jazz, from the film High Society, followed by the first of two medleys Bing did with Frank Sinatra that included Swinging On A Star and Paris In The Spring; Bob Hope joining the pair on The Road To Morocco; Rosemary Clooney; the Four Preps, joined by Bing's son Lindsay on one tune; and a ton more.  As I said, show was great- the product? Well, let Rosemary tell it:

The show was built around the newest Ford offering, the 1958 Edsel. A new vista of motoring pleasure, unlike any other car you've ever seen. The only Edsel I ever saw was one they gave me to drive while I was rehearsing. I came out of the CBS Building, up those little steps to the street where my purple Edsel was waiting, like the Normandie in drydock. Mr. Ford was right behind me, heading for his Edsel. I opened the door of my car and the handle came off. I turned to him, holding it out to him. "About your car . . ."





The show is said to be the oldest videotape in existence....


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And welcome to a non-Edsel Time Machine, in which we finish my tour through the Billboard #1 lps; discover who wrote the Auburn fight song (?); mention a little detail I left out on last week's show; kibbitz with Elvis; and announce a new member of the M10 top ten- and a new member of the multiple #1s club!  All that and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, coming up- now!


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Two debuts this week, and the first belongs to the familiar faces of Nothing But Thieves, with the title cut from their latest coming in at #10:






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So here we are with the King, Elvis Presley, talking Panel Picks.  How many POTMs does this make for you now?

I dunno, man.  five, ten...

Well, maybe not that many, but you and the Beatles, not surprisingly make very frequent appearances.

Uh, yeah, you grabbed me from '57, I dunno nothin' 'bout no beetles...

Oh, yeah, sorry, sir.  Anyway, you have an easy list this week.  Just like last week, a low amount of stations- 11- gave us a low amount of candidates- four.

Yeah, I got this.  Now, first alphabeticalized is Jimmie Rodgers an' Honeycomb, which was at #2 on Cashbox.

Then comes myself, whom you should all vote for, with Jailhouse Rock, which was at... HEY!  This says I was at number ELEVEN???

That's right, but you were also the biggest mover- you went from #50 to #11 on your second week on the chart.

Well, that's okay then, I guess.  The Bobbettes were at #10 with Mr. Lee.

And finally, The Everly Boys were at #5 with Wake Up Li'l Susie.  Hey, what happened to the number uno?


Funny you should mention that, and I'll get to it in a bit.  There were a lot of really good songs that got no votes this week, and we'll take on that topic in a bit.

An' he ain't givin' y'all no clues this week, so get at it and pick ME!


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So let's do our first big reveal on the Martin Era 2.0 list of Billboard #1 albums- who had the most weeks at the top with a single lp?

First off, there was a 4-way tie for seventh with 15 weeks.  Those four were:

The My Fair Lady soundtrack
At Large by the Kingston Trio
Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the beetl... er, the Beatles
and Carole King's Tapestry.

At #6 with 16 weeks was Andy Williams' Days Of Wine And Roses.

#5 with 18 weeks was More Of The Monkees, their second disc.

#4 ...

Hey, let me get that.  #4 is the wonderful, handsome Elvis Aaron Presley with the Blue Hawaii soundtrack at 20 weeks.

Thanks, bubba.  You might as well stick around for the other album list here in a bit.  #3 with 20 weeks...

Waitaminit!  Why isn't it Blue Hawaii in third with 20 weeks?

Because, Elvis, the #3 record wasn't DONE with 20 weeks- it just ran out of Martin Era 2.0 to fit the rest of its time in!  And that would be Fleetwood Mac's Rumours, which would have tied for #1 instead, had I counted the 11 weeks on the other side of  the ME2.0 barrier!

At #2 we have Doris Day and the Love Me Or Leave Me soundtrack at 28 weeks.

And #1, with an incredible 31 weeks at the top- hee hee hee, stay tuned for the end reveals!

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So this was really unusual in the voting this week, as big hits at #3 (Holly and the Crickets with That'll Be The Day), #4 (Paul Anka's Diana), #6 (Debbie Reynolds and Tammy, which was in its second week of descending after 7 weeks at the top), and #8 (Jerry Lee Lewis and Whole Lotta Shakin').  But the most unusual is the fact that, for the first time, Cashbox's #1 song is our 6D victim!  And for that, we go to the fight song of the University of Auburn, called War Eagle.  Al Stillman and Robert Allen were the prolific songwriters who penned that tune, as well as a few others you may know.  They wrote two BB #2s for the Four Lads- Moments To Remember and No, Not Much.  They did the tune And That Reminds Me, which Della Reese had at #15 a couple weeks ago and Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons would get shafted with a mere #45 in the latter 60's.  they even penned a #5 for the guy that got the Panel kiss of death this week- a tune called It's Not For Me To Say.  That's right, our six degrees victim this week is...



Johnny Mathis, and his big hit Chances Are!!!!!!!!!!


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Before I get to the next debut, I wanted to insert something I left out last week.  Remember that the UK #1 was the nearly-banned Lay Down Your Arms by Anne Shelton? Well, over here it was a hit by the Chordettes- and it was last week's fastest mover, jumping 14 places from 50 to 36!


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And now, I don't recall how much detail I went into on my Tom Petty obit about the song I mentioned being his last hit on CB.  It was called Walls (Circus), and it was from the soundtrack to the movie She's The One with Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz.  This was a fast paced song with a cool message.  But I stumbled on later on the lp a more acoustic version called Walls (No. 3) that I liked better.  And that version comes in at#8...






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Okay, since you can't see what's going on here, I have had not one, but to glaring screw ups attributable either to my lazy hand or my idiot keyboard, so let's try to wrap up before I accidentally delete this post!  The final stat from the lp list is, who had the most #1s?  And here we go!


A three way tie at #9 with 4 lps for Frank Sinatra, the Monkees, and Led Zeppelin...

A three way tie for #6 at 5 for Chicago, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, and the Kingston Trio...

A 2-way at #4 with 6 for the Rolling Stones and the various iterations of McCartney and Wings...

At #3, Elton John with 7...


And you ALL know who the next two are, so let's keep you in suspense just a little longer and give out who ended where with how many for the big reveal.

WHAT??  Man, I got places to be...

Dude, you're in a time machine, you got time!

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Stat pack:  Well, we were up to a 60-song chart, of which I knew 15 ( and for some reason wrote 50 in my notes, which didn't even fool ME), so we actually have a #57 in '57- Jimmy Dean with Deep Blue Sea.  This was his first charting single on the pop charts, and BB had it stopping at #67, while #57 was not only this week but its high water mark on CB.

Three of our CB top tens were top ten in the UK this week, which may well be a TM record.  That'll Be The Day was #9 there, Tammy was #3, and the top dog across the pond was Diana.


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The remainder of the M10:

Saw You In A Dream (which nearly fell victim to the THIRD keyboard f-up) moves up a spot to #9, and gives us 3 title cuts, which may also be a record.

Darius Rucker moves up two places to #7 with Don't.

Alvvays loses one song this week, but the other, Your Type, moves one to #6.

Refusing to go away easy, Lucinda Williams moves back UP one spot to #5 in her 8th week- and pulls into the #10 all time spot, with Six Blocks Away.

Jana Kramer has done #4, and she does it again with I've Done Love.

Squeeze slips out of the top spot (aren't you glad I didn't say they were "squeezed" out?  Oh, wait, just ignore that) with Innocence In Paradise falling to #3. 


Dent 'n' Frankie remain at #2 with that other title cut, Across The Multiverse.

And the number ones? 

First off, the most weeks at the top for an lp goes to...




...Harry Belafonte with Calypso- and if you guessed this is the lp from which came the Banana Boat Song (Day-o!), you'd be right!  31 weeks for Harry.

The top two of the most albums at #1 list are:

#2 with 8 lps...





....Elvis Presley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's burnt, man.  I'm out!


And at #1, with not 9, not ten, but FIFTEEN #1 albums...




...The Beatles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the top of the M10 list, becoming the 8th act to make multiple trips to the top...




...Ducktails and Light A Candle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel winner, with 5 of the 11 votes, and ready to make my live interesting yet again next week....





....The Everlys and Wake Up Little Susie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Made it without deleting everything, thank God!  Be here for 1958 next week with the Eve