Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Ducks In The Wind...

Damnit, I just styled!

The wonderful source of this post's title will take a minute, but I had fun getting there, so maybe you will as well.  It all started yesterday- sort of...

And it involves an incident where my place of work made about every mistake we are good at on one order.  We started with a rush order, which because it was both hot and a prototype, did not have proper paperwork ready when the time came to get it cut (AKA mistake #1).  In such a case, I am given a "mini" (think blueprint) with the item number, fabric color, and hull # for the individual boat it goes to.  Now, I used to just give it a "Yeah, whatever", cut the stupid thing, and not really care when or if they actually got me the paperwork.  But right before inventory, the production manager (Let's call him "Bob") douched one of these up and I ended up cutting something twice for no reason.  Since then, I write the hull # and fabric on my scoreboard, and erase it when the proper paperwork comes through so I can issue the fabric amount and print out any labels they may still need.

So I cut this one yesterday, write the info on my scoreboard, and wait for the paperwork.  It did not come my way that day. 

Today, though, about 9 AM, I got a pair of prototypes with paperwork.  The first one was a new number, and while it was cutting, I checked the other, and wa-lah, there was yesterday's cut.  Now, my floor boss (Let's call him "Brad") didn't check my board (mistake #2) because he was a bit distracted.  You see, several weeks ago we got an enormously expensive new piece of, er, equipment, that was supposed to make life a breeze for certain of my workmates.  This of course has not yet happened because our production engineer (let's call him "Pete") was supposed to be "getting it dialed in", and several (but fewer) weeks later, our plant manager's boss (Let's call him "Mark") stopped off and let him know that it was going waaay too slow (basically because he hadn't really got to it yet).  And TODAY, Mark returned to do a surprise checkup on Pete, who was not much farther along yet, which meant Brad had to help maintenance get all the moving around of stuff for the machine done which hadn't been done because maintenance had been too busy trying to help Pete get the damn thing functional.  So mistakes numbers 3 and 4 are basically "we don't know what we're doing", and "thus we aren't doing it".
Back to the main story:  So Brad goes to the sewing boss (Let's call her "Debbie") and she says yes, this was sewn yesterday.  But Brad then made the wise move (after letting me know I was right) to check with Bob to see if it still needed labels, etc.  When Bob saw it, he knew something was funny about the whole deal, and went to check on things himself.

Here I am going to add a crucial interlude to the story by mentioning that at some point in the morning, I walked past somebody's radio that was playing Dust In The Wind by Kansas.  My brain, always on the lookout for a new meaningless sound loop, began playing the song over and over- with one little problem.  It changed Dust to "Ducks".

This was still in my head as yet more problems surfaced in the area, Pete was looking at the new machine's computer with his head in his hands, and at long last, Bob showed up with the Complete Story.

1- the mini I got yesterday had the WRONG hull # on it.  So what I had on the scoreboard was meaningless.  (Mistake #5:  dumb engineers part A.)

2- That cover, which I cut yesterday, was the right item number for the mini- but the cover itself was NOT correct on my system, and thus when delivered was totally douched up for no matter WHICH boat they put it on.  (Mistake #6: dumb engineers part B.)

3- The first prototype I cut at 9 AM was a replacement for yesterday's cover, with the RIGHT hull number this time.

4- The second one, with yesterday's hull number, was a completely different boat, and was the first time I ACTUALLY cut for that hull.  Which makes Mistake #7, Bob needs to keep a better check on what his underlings are doing.

So now we have the "every mistake in the book" part done, and that leaves us with Ducks In The Wind.  Which, by this time, I thought was highly appropriate to our work situation.  So I added lyrics to the thing, which I shall now share with you.

A hurricane
Hurricane of stupid pushing everyone
All we've Done
Full of messing up and all must be re-done

Ducks in the wind,
all we are is ducks in the wind.

Same old song
someone left a part out, and it's incomplete
the BOM* is wrong
Fabric's full of holes and little Chinese feet**

Ducks In The Wind,
All we are is ducks in the wind ohhh oh


Quick, hang on
The wind will cast our feathers to the earth and sky
We'll lose our tails
And Tim*** will make us work eternal overtime

Ducks in the wind, 
all we are is ducks in the wind
Everyone is ducks in the wind.....

* Bill Of Materials
** True story.  Foot prints in the coating HAS happened.
*** Plant manager.

I intend to take the song back to Tim tomorrow.  After yesterday, I'm betting he can use the laugh.

Final Note:  All names in this story are totally non-fictitious, except for one.  I'll let you guess which one that is.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

To The Faithful Departed

I hate to lead with this, but we have lost two more musicians that have graced the charts of the past.  Delores O'Riordan, leader of the Cranberries, just keels over, aged 46.  Her magic Irish voice graced many a hit on the alt charts, including the flat out best anti-war song ever, 1994's Zombie...

Another mother's breakin'
Heart is takin' over
When the violence causes silence
We must be mistaken

It's the same old theme
Since nineteen-sixteen
In your head, in your head, they're still fightin'
With their tanks, and their bombs
And air bombs, and their guns
In your head, in your head, they are dyin'

In your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie
What's in your head, in your head?
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie

Still gives me chills...

The other was Gospel singer Edwin Hawkins, whose singers had a big hit with 1969's Oh Happy Day.  Another great tune, though not having the same impact on me as Delores, and songs like I'm Still Remembering...

They say the cream will always
Rise to the top
They say that good people
Are always first to drop
What of Kurt Cobain
Will his presence still remain
Remember J.F.K
Ever saintly in a way

Where are you now
Where are you now
Where are you now
I say, where are you now?

I'm sorry, this post was meant to be something else... something longer, more fun.  But as I listened to the songs again- for the first time in a while-  my heart just broke.  Where are you now....

Sunday, January 14, 2018

(Not a) Sunday Message

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't yet put up a Sunday Message this year.  They'll come in God's time, but right now I am in a "growth spurt" for lack of a better term.

I have made progress in myself by writing some things down- things I don't intend to share.  But they have helped me see some of my problems in a different light.

One of those lights is the light of fear.  I'm one of those people who hear the sermons on fear and anxiety and say, "That doesn't apply to me, at least not anymore."  WRONG.  A while ago a preacher mentioned that there were 366 "fear not"s in the Bible- which means that would make a really great devotional.  Me being me, I began to seek them out.  And I learned that fear is indeed a problem.  Fear of letting go of certain sins because IF I let them go, I could rise to a new level- and that would be scary.

Another is the light of frustration.  I mean needless frustrations, like yelling at my machine or computer screen at work.  Now, yelling at inanimate objects is a long-term habit of mine.  When I was 4, I fell on my butt running through the kitchen because I slipped on a throw rug on the linoleum floor.  I picked up the rug and shook it, screaming, "Don't you know I'm a PEOPLE?"  12 years later when Mom died, I made sure one of my first acts was to escort that rug to the burning barrel.

I constantly shout, "Really?" at my machine when it does something "stupid".  I flip off dropped objects on their way down to the floor.  And recently, I learned that that begins the frustration train rolling.  It treks then to yelling at myself, then God, then other people, and never once is there anything real to get upset about.

So in other words, I am learning about my triggers.  Add "boredom" to the list and you have the troika of my constant downfalls.

And I am trying to do something about them.  Admitting fear was a big help.  Breaking myself of talking to inanimate objects is starting to as well.  Boredom is still a challenge.  I don't need more activity as much as an "off" switch for my brain.

And I am learning I have more "image constructs" of myself to tear down.  For example, I have told myself a lot that I am good at prayer time- but when I hear stories of what really dedicated prayer warriors have done, I am shamed.  I have found myself having to require "kicks in the butt" to pray about certain things, and that needs to change.

The pastor I was listening to today is teaching his congregation that it isn't about "doing"- doing the things you think are expected of a Christian- but "being"- being more like Christ, in action and attitude and everything else.  "Be more, do less" is the mantra, and he's right.  We all look around for something to do, some way to give, and sometimes it boils down to we're trying to prove to ourselves that we're being obedient- rather than being obedient and acting as Christ would.

He also brought up a quote about humility not being about thinking less of yourself, but more about others.  Man, do I suck at that!  But that's going to change, too.  God willing.

I guess maybe this was a Sunday Message- to myself.  I should copy it and tack it to the wall.  I do that a lot, too.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXVI46911270

Yes, it isn't safe to be in the Musical Tardis with me this week, as the bubonic plague is kicking my butt, and we are about to spread it to the environs of January 1970!  Specifically January 12th, which in addition to being my sister's 18th birthday, saw the fall of Biafra (look it up kiddies, knowledge is good for you) and celebrations in Kansas City over the Chiefs winning the 4th Super Bowl.  In other words, nothing big breaking today.  Which means we can get right on to POTM Marvin Gaye introducing our non-semi-finalists in the 2018 Beauty Contest!  Marvin, how about you give us the first three...

No problem, man, and may I say these ladies all are winners in my book!  Anyway, let's start off with a returning contestant with three M10 #1s under her lovely belt!  I give you...

...Melody Prochet!  Next, we have another returning contestant... an' I don't really know how she didn't make the finals...

...Marilyn Monroe!  Next up, and last for this group, a lady who hit the M10 with a great song called No Coffee and a weird video with a guy in an eagle suit...

...Amber Coffman!  And back to you, CW!

Uhhh... yeah, thanks, man.  Think I'm getting ready for an ibuprofen break here soon, but let's see if I can't knock out your Panel picks for this week.

First we have Mel and Tim's Backfield In Motion, which had already fallen off the Cashbox charts after peaking the middle of last month.

Then comes the #1 from South Africa this week- the Tremeloes (sounding nothing like their hit Silence Is Golden) with Call Me Number One.

Next is John Lennon and whatever iteration of "Plastic", "Ono", and "Band" he was currently using, with Cold Turkey at #43.

The #9 song on CB was Elvis and Don't Cry Daddy.

Just above him at #8 was Neil Diamond and Holly Holy.

The Jackson Five were at #4 with I Want You Back.

Tommy Roe's Jam Up- Jelly Tight was at # 5.

The Archies were at #11 with Jingle Jangle.

Bobby Sherman's La La La (basically what I do whenever I hear a Bobby Sherman song, with hands on ears) was at #12.

Peter Paul and Mary (seriously, when you first try to start Peter with a "Pa" and then change it to "PP"...) are at #3 with Leaving On A Jet Plane.

All I could find out about these guys were that they were a 1-hit wonder in Holland- the Cats and Marian.  (Or Marran, my notes are a tad sloppy.)

Roy Orbison's Penny Arcade, an Australia only release, is next.

The CB #1, BJ Thomas and Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, next.

The Supremes 1.0's swan song, Someday We'll Be Together, is at #6.

Somebody got an advance copy of The Jaggerz doing The Rapper- it doesn't debut nationally until next week, and then at #122!

Shocking Blue with  Venus was at #7 and streaking up.

And finally the CB #2, Led Zep and Whole Lotta Love.

And this was most definitely a two-horse race, so your choice:  Shocking Blue or BJ Thomas?


Marvin?  Your next grouping?

Yes, sir, I can't wait to get it on with the list!  The last three non finalists include yet another Amber...

...Amber Bain, The Japanese House, that is!  Next, the girl we saw in that oh-so-sexy video for their hit Zombies...

...Elizabeth Ellison of Radiation City!  And the last one on the non-finalist list, from the cool jazz of Escondido...

...Jessica Maros!  Back over to our moanin' host with the most- germs, that is...


Yeah, thanks for that.  So the 6D has a question for you- who remembers Messy Marvin?

He made messes with everything but the Hershey's chocolate syrup he was advertising way back when.  He grew up to be Peter Billingsley, who at the age of 12 was in the movie A Christmas Story in 1983.  That show was basically taken from the memoirs and was narrated by one Jean Shepard- a guy whose girl-like name led Shel Silverstein to write A Boy Named Sue.  And according to Johnny Cash that song debuted at his house at a sing-a-long in which Shel performed it, Joni Mitchel first did Both Sides Now, Graham Nash did an early version of Marrakesh Express, Kris Kristofferson debuted Me And My Bobby McGee- and Bob Dylan played Lay Lady Lay for the first time.

And that song was to have been the theme for the movie Midnight Cowboy, but he didn't get it done in time, so it went to Nilsson's Everybody's Talkin'.  And the main scored them- by Ferrante and Teicher- was at #10 this week with no panel love.


All right, un-messy Marvin!  Give us the first three of the final six!

I'll let that one go because you're sick.  Anyway, the final contestants are...

...Krista Ru from POWERS (and she does have powers!)...

...Mod Squadder Peggy Lipton... man that Link had it going ON!  And...

...Justine Brown, who had the hit Nobody Like You with her band Easy Love! Whoa!

  The barely-breathing stat-pack:

Brenda and the Tabulations, an act we seem to hit far in excess of its chart success, were at #101 with The Touch Of You, which would peak at 50 later on.  B&T would be one of the 40 musical acts mentioned in Reunion's Like Is A Rock (But The Radio Rolled Me).

The #70 in '70 were the Intrigues with I'm Gonna Love You.  They were basically a one-hit-wonder who scored with In A Moment, and this song got no higher.

And I had to laugh when I saw the title of the song at #1 in the UK- Rolf Harris (convicted of child molesting in 2013) with Two Little Boys.  In truth, though, this was an old song about war- originally written as a Civil War song, about two little boys playing soldier, one who shares his horse when his friend's horse breaks, and later pulls him off the battlefield in the war.  It was written in 1902 by Edward Madden, who also claims to his credit By The Light Of The Silvery Moon and On Moonlight Bay.

Marvin, the last of the group?


You bet!  Next up, the hot Russian chick from Alkonost...

...Ksenia Pobuzhanskaya!!!!!!  I don't think she's takin' no crap- Scrappy better be  careful!  Next, a new member of the old band Squeeze...

...Yolanda Charles!  Ooh mama!  And finally, the singer from Sunflower Bean..

...Julia Cumming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a lineup!  I'm glad I'm not the dog...


You and me both!  And now, let me get in this week's M10:

Shilpa Ray's Got A Heartful Of Dirt down from 7 to 10.

Beat Of My Drum down from 6 to 9.

Yet another record breaking week- her 12th- for Mo Kenny and Unglued, down from 5 to 8.

Dent May's Take Me To Heaven up from 10 to 7.

And our one new debut- her name is Sarah Tudzin, she calls her band "a rotating cast of BFFs" called illuminati hotties, and describes her LA music as "Post-Neptune burrito-core".  Here is illuminati hotties at #6...

Sunflower Bean moves up 3 to #5 with I Was A Fool.

Manhattanoid Creepazoids drops from 3 to 4.

Strawberry Runners doing their patented late-climb thing, up a spot to 3 with Garden Hose in week #7.

Mo hangs at #2 for a second week with On The Roof.

Which means the returning number one-

...The Shacks and Audrey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for those of you who played along at home, the winner of the POTM with a 19-13 margin...

...former contestant Mariska Veres and Shocking Blue with Venus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And now it's time!  The dog is ready...

The ballots are ready...

The treats are ready...

Are you ready to make your pick, Scrappy?

Okay!  Then let me line up your choices...

...and GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the winner is...

....Justine Brown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice job, Boofus!  Tune in next time for 1971!

Monday, January 8, 2018

The overwhelming propensity of stupidity

(Snowflake warning:  This is not a good time for you to be here.  Just sayin'.)

It' should be called the opening of snowflake season- the day after Golden Globes.  And frankly, I don't even have to rely on the GGs for my material- but I will start there.

And they say Trump shouldn't tweet

Here's the opener of the story:

“Nothing but respect for OUR future president,” the verified NBC account tweeted on Sunday night during its Golden Globes telecast, complete with an image of Winfrey, after host Seth Meyers joked about his desire for the talk show icon to run for office.

Hold it, now the self-proclaimed "kingmakers" in the media have come out to openly admit it?  Of course, the next sounds you heard was a lot of outrage at a news department taking on such a role, followed by that trickling sound that signified something running down the network's collective leg...

"Yesterday a tweet about the Golden Globes and Oprah Winfrey was sent by a third party agency for NBC Entertainment in real time during the broadcast," read the tweet. "It is in reference to a joke made during the monologue and not meant to be a political statement. We have since removed the tweet."

Oh, yes, that devilish "third party strikes again.  Perhaps some of these networks might like to put a breathalyzer in the password of their social media accounts- or, in CNN's case, a MJ detector...

"Has anyone seen my professionalism... or my cookie?  Did you eat my cookie?"
No offense, NBC, but this is like the third person that one of these media bozos has coronated for POTUS 2020.  And dear God help us, Chelsea Clinton might be the only reasonable one of the bunch (you know, in the way a hungry rat might be more reasonable than, say, a hungry crocodile or tiger...).

No, tell us how you really feel...

And those who cared have prolly heard all about the dust up on whatever CNN calls its political Sunday talk show that nobody watches between Jake Tapper and Steven Miller, which ended like this:

The interview then essentially turned into Miller and Tapper talking over each other, after Tapper said about Trump, “I’m sure he’s watching, and he’s happy you said that.”

Miller attempted to continue talking about matters that concerned him, while Tapper tried to talk about his issues, then ended the interview.

“This is my show, and I don’t want to do that,” Tapper said. “I’ve wasted enough of my viewers’ time.”

Tapper later tweeted out a video showing him cracking open a can of Colt 45 beer on a Comedy Central show — while thanking his fans.

Yeah, Jake sounds a lot like a lot of people I know anymore, that could care less about other peoples' ideas or issues except to make fun of them.  Which is kinda why I am doing this post, because I have been, like Miller, wasting my time trying to talk sense to certain people who wouldn't hear of it, and am ready to politely and joyously return all favors.  I do have a question from the Peanut Gallery for ol' Jake, the malt-liquor guy- did Randy Kaye burn all you guys' dope?  Just curious...

And just when you thought it was safe to watch football...

Amid the crimson, white, red and black during the national college football championship in Atlanta on Monday, the NAACP wants to see fans wave a white towel to simulate a blizzard of "snowflakes" to send a message to President Trump.

The president plans to attend the event, and Atlanta's NAACP chapter said on its Facebook page that it wants fans inside the stadium for the College Football Playoff title game to send him a message by waving white towels "simulating a blizzard."

"We will not let the President’s visit go without a response. If you are lucky enough to attend the game, we encourage you to bring a white towel to wave simulating a blizzard while the president is in the packed stadium," the group said. "Trump supporters mockingly call the opposition snowflakes, but when we come together we create a mighty storm."

An article that I swiftly shared on FB, with the following headline:

So I guess only black people are supposed to watch the national championship? #noproblem

So now the President is Resident Evil for going to a football game, really? We will not let the President’s visit go without a response- and what response exactly is required for a President going to a damn ball game?  I wish that "the opposition" would eventually quit acting like a bunch of kindergartners and try to intelligently formulate what their hangups really are in a way conducive to productive talk instead of all this symbolic 

but, as Mad Jack commented not long ago...

They say that one definition of insanity is performing an identical action multiple times and expecting a different result each time. Having a political discussion with a Liberal (moonbat, SJW, Progressive, etc.) fits neatly between the parameters of this definition. You ought to know better.

Well, I have learned, and I have suspended talks with the "opposition" until and unless they get a grip on themselves and stick to debatable issues.

No Chicken Little Zone
In the meantime, though, I intend to keep a sharp eye out for more examples of such inanity, and rather than address them on that spot and attempt preaching blue and green to the color blind anymore, just post them here, where we can all have a good laugh about them.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXV4681569

Today we head to January 5th, 1969... what?  We're supposed to be going to 1968?  Funny thing, that.  You see, December of 1967 (our last regular date) looks amazingly like January of 1968 (WOW!), so we moved on to 1969 instead of giving the Beatles or Monkees another shot at winning.  As such, we come in right on the day the Soviet Union (for you kids, what Russia was in between being... well, Russia) launched the Venera satellite probe towards... well Venus (you knew it had to be that or a STD detector).  V5 would drop into the Venusian atmosphere just over 4 months later- right on my 7th birthday!  And no, I don't recall the wild celebration that followed.

Venera 5...or 6... animation
And the Musical Tardis is back, after rolling through the M50 this week, and just in time for a special event:  the Beatles give us- the Worst Songs In Beatles History?  Plus, I share with you a childhood favorite, and the year 2018's first M10!  Blasting off- now!


Now I haven't quite researched this one, but this is a rare M10 week- as was last week- in that the entirety of the 10 is made up of acts that have hit the 10 previously! In fact, I believe it is true that those were the first two weeks that ever happened.  And this week's bunch have a total of 23 M10s between them (last week's had 21).  The reason that went up was another song from my boy Dent May comes in at #10:


This week, I'm saving the POTMs for a special event later, so you get me doing the Panel picks on my lonesome- 21 candidates from 52 stations!  So here we go:

First up, Tyrone Davis was just climbing at #72 with Can I Change My Mind.

The Ohio Express is back this week with Chewy Chewy at #27.

Tommy James and the Shondells were at #21 flying up with Crimson And Clover.

Sly Stone et al were at #28 with Everyday People.  What, no one liked the top ten?

Oh, here we go- Stevie Wonder at #9 with For Once In My Life.

Canned Heat was Going Up The Country at #12.  Wonder if they just purchased Geico and saved a ton of money?

Then we have a one hit wonder on the Dutch charts- a band called Zen- doing their version of the theme from Hair.  A touch rougher than the Cowsills, without all the silly stuff.

Booker T and the MGs were at #64 with Hang 'Em High.

Heard It Through The Grapevine is back this week- and Marvin Gaye is at the top with it.

Our "didn't get the memo" moment goes to the Fab Four with Hey Jude- number one in Australia, but fallen to #38 here.

BJ Thomas had his version of Hooked On A Feeling at #13.

And here's a first- an M10 song with a Panel vote!  From the 10's very first week, Elvis's If I Can Dream, which sat at #18 on Cashbox this week.

The Supremes and Temptations combine for I'm Gonna Make You Love Me at #5.  Wow 13 songs into the list, and only 3 in the top 10.

The Bee Gees were on their way, though, with I Started A Joke at #20.

Next was a one-hit UK wonder- well actually two-hit-  called the Casuals.  They rode the top of the South African chart this week with Jesamine.  Not a charter here, but not too bad if you like the soft 70's style.

The next tune I'm going to pull out of the list for a bit, as it is a keystone to a lot of our further story.  But it only got the one vote, so don't worry.

The Magic Lanterns, an English band that made one-hit wonder status here, were at #30 with Shame Shame.  Man, hadn't heard this one in ages!  Great tune.

Young-Holt Unlimited's Soulful Strut was at #11.

Another top ten was the #3 Stormy by the Classics IV.

The Doors had Touch Me at #39.  No thanks, Jim!

And finally, the #2 on CB this week was Glen Campbell with Wichita Lineman.

Now, all of this basically boiled down to an entertaining three-way battle.  So pick from Marvin, the Supremes and Temps, and Tommy James and the boys.  And now, let's get to our guests...


So our missing Panel song- which was another one on the Aussie chart- was also the UK #1- and #20!  You see, a lot of acts did chart one way or the other with this tune.  Paul Desmond had an AC instrumental hit in our current year of 1969; Arthur Conley, best known for Sweet Soul Music, also charted at #51 in '69; and so did Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, albeit only to #118. Oh, and the version at #20 on the UK chart this week, a reggae version by the West Indian band the Bedrocks.   Finally, the Beatles (more precisely, the record company) released it in 1976, and it hit #49 (despite MUCH greater airplay here).  That song, Obla-Di, Obla- Da!

John:  Oh Yes.  Paul's granny s#!t.

George.  Not one of your best, chum.

And as you may have figured, I have the Beatles here in the Tardis today.  Gentlemen, how...

John: Before we get started, I have to speak to you about putting Imagine as your most hated song.

Hey, I got you from '69- you haven't even done Imagine yet.

John: Doesn't mean I'm not imagining it already.  You certainly pissed that one bloke off, didn't you?\

Yeah, mind the language, please, but yeah.  Some people have a hard time separating their politics from other stuff.

Ringo:  Oh, this isn't going to get into politics, is it?

Absolutely not!  So boys, I have here a list from the Houston Press...

Paul: A well-respected music periodical...

Yeah, I get that, but they decided to do a piece on the worst songs you all ever did, and I thought I'd let you all respond to it.  Obla-Di was the song that started the whole thing off- and a couple of you already addressed it- so why don't you go on with the rest of the list?

Paul:  But wait, that song wasn't that bad.  It was a charming little ditty...

George:  Paul, it was rubbish.  We all know it was rubbish.

John:  So let's look at the rest of the list.  What?  Strawberry Fields was on the list?  Bloody  nitwits.

Yeah, I didn't like that pick either.

John: They must have been on something.

Paul:  Like you were when you wrote it.  Next?

John: She Loves You?  I rather thought that aged well.

Ringo: Of course, that's from a five years on perspective...

Paul:  Maybe we should have sung, "Yes, Yes, Yes," like me Da suggested.

George:  Are ya daft?  What's next?

John: Now I AM upset- Revolution # 9.

Paul:  Well, it did drone on a bit.


Paul: Progressively boring.  Next?

John:  Oh, look, Paul- one of yours- Paperback Writer.

That one really upset me- it's one of my favorites!

George:  Hey, who's doing this, us or you?

John:  Oh, look, more Paul!  Good Day Sunshine...

George:  I don't grasp that.  What was wrong with that?

Writer just thought it was a "little tra-la-la" for Revolver.

John:  Great Jesus, everything Paul wrote was a little "tra-la-la"!

Paul: Better that than self-serving, egotistical...

OKAY, moving on...

John: Oh, look, more Paul- Digging A Hole.

Ringo: GGGK!

Paul:  All right, that one I'll grant ya...

John:  Next Is Drive My Car...

Paul:  WHAT on earth is wrong with that?

John:  Nothing, after I fixed the lyrics...

George: Who is this nit, anyway?

He was the HP's music editor.

Ringo: Betting he was more of a Philharmonic guy.

John:  Next- oh, look, Paul again, with Birthday.

Ringo: GGGK!

Paul:  Well, that was a bit too "tra-la-la", wasn't it?

John: And last was Back In The USSR.

Ringo:  Oh thank God!  I was afraid Octopus' Garden or Yellow Submarine would be on here...

Well, he kinda threw Yellow Submarine in with Good Day Sunshine.

Ringo:  The nerve!  Cheeky sod didn't even give it it's own spot?

John: Well, at least that rot's over.  Are we done here?

Pretty much.  I...

John:  Good, cause I have something for you, in honor of your putting Imagine on that list.

Paul:  Oh. geez...

Wow, and I thought Yoko had the fat butt in your family.  Okay, time for us to move along, and I have a surprise in lieu of a 6D.  Because the song without a Panel vote was at #4 this week- Bobby Vinton's I Love How You Love Me.  What I didn't remember/realize until now was that I REALLY played the grooves off the flip side of that hit...


What's left of the stat pack:

John Wesley Ryles, a teenager at the time, was at #101 with Kay, which went on to become a top ten country song.  He's a background vocalist these days, notably with Clint Black and Alan Jackson.

The Turtles sat at #69 in '69 with the very groovy You Showed Me, which would eventually get to #6

And finally, our big mover was the Foundations' Build Me Up Buttercup, which jumped 27 spots from 84 to 57.


The remaining M10:

Plume Of Feathers hangs on for a ninth week with the former #1 Rhyl Love, dropping 2 to #9.

Sunflower Bean moves up 2 spots to #8 with I Was A Fool.

Shilpa Ray's Got not only A Heartful Of Dirt, but a hit at #7, up one spot.

POWERS slides 4 to #6 with Beat Of My Drum, another former #1.

And at #5, the ultimate former #1- in its record breaking 11th week on the chart, Mo Kenney's Unglued slips but one.

Which clears the way for Strawberry Runners to reverse their slide of last week, moving up 2 to #4 with Garden Hose.

Lats week's #1 is also a former #1- Shilpa Ray moves down to #3 with Manhattanoid Creepazoids.

Which means SOMEBODY is about to get their second #1- but not Mo, who moves up just one spot to #2 with On The Roof.

And this week's #1- up from #5-

...The Shacks with Audrey (Spending All My Time With You)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And who will be next week's Beauty Contest edition President Of Time Machine?  Well, the Supremes/Temptations alliance netted 13.5%...

Tommy James et al got 23.1%...

And that means the next POTM, ready to bring some Sexual Healing to the Beauty Contest, is...

...Marvin Gaye, who garners 26.9 % of the vote for Heard It Through The Grapevine!

And now, a little tease on the Beauty Contest:  Out of 73 Candidates- here are the Final 12:

Krista Ru of POWERS
Peggy Lipton
Melody Prochet of the Echo Chamber
Justine Brown of Easy Love
Marilyn Monroe
Amber Coffman
Amber Bain AKA The Japanese House
Elizabeth Ellison of Radiation City
Ksenia Pobuzhanskay of Alkonost
Yolanda Charles of Squeeze
Julia Cumming of Sunflower Bean
 and Jessica Maros of Escondido!

Now, you can perv look on the net in order to cast your votes, but keep in mind they will mean nothing- I choose the last 6, and Scrappy picks the winner!  Who will join the list of winners:

2012 Brandy
2013 Patty Boyd
2014 Tina Louise
2015 Linda Ronstadt
2016 Natalie Imbruglia
and 2017's Jane Birkin?  Tune in in seven days, God willing, for the answer!

Thursday, January 4, 2018

M50- the Ever-Lovin' finale

Yep, we have finally made it to the end of the M50- and what a countdown it was!

I hope you don't just...

...Walk On By and miss the Four Seasons, as that's the song at #10!  The oldest #1 in chart history, Walk On By is a song that stops me in my tracks no matter who does it- and it was a double blessing to find out that one of my favorite bands had covered it!  It spent the last week of March at the top, racking up eight weeks on the chart.

Oh, I'm doing this last installment with a bit more "reverence"; so please don't be upset if I don't continue from the other posts my...

...Funny Ways, which Quiet Hollers took to #2 in mid-August (couldn't get past the song at #5 on the countdown), becoming the only top 10 on our list not to hit #1.  I was sold when they started doing the Zombies riff ("..tell it to me slowly...") in the second verse.  So with this one at #9, we'll go right to #8, because...

...You Won't Be Missing That Part Of Me, which Melody's Echo Chamber had at #1 the week of Laurie's and my birthday back in May.  BTW, I don't remember if I shared this, but Melody Prochet was on her way to recording a new lp and kicking off a concert tour last July when she was involved in a terrible accident.  The family was understandably curt with details, but Melody posted on her FB page around Thanksgiving saying that the recovery was going slow but well, and was looking forward to returning to work- although not so much to the additional surgeries looming in the future.

After that, I need to lighten up the room, and what better way than by opening the...

...Sunroof in my head, in my head, like courtship. did this summer, streaking to the top and holding it for most of July- until that pesky #5 song struck again.  And, as with Funny Ways, this song got the Laurie Seal Of Approval!  Sunroof finished at #7, which isn't far from #5, but might as well be...

...Across The Multiverse, as Dent May- with a little help from Frankie Cosmos- sits at #6!  Dent took the top spot in late September, then took the entire month of October moseying on out of the countdown!

Okay, so now we are up to that rascally #5 song- like Dent's, another Laurie Seal Of Approval tune.  So brace yourself, get comfortable.  In fact, come over here and...

...Sit Next To Me, with which Foster The People became the first of two acts to have a 4-week #1 in 2017!  And better late than never- even though it has been 18 weeks SINCE it fell off the M10 (after a run at #1 from July 26 to August 16), it has been on the Billboard alternative charts FOR the last 17 weeks, currently sitting at its high of #11! (And if you think that's funny, how about our #25, Moon Taxi's Two High, which fell off my chart 22 weeks ago and is currently #28 in its 11th week on that same chart!)

So what comes next?  I guarantee it's...

...Something Good!  The Derevolutions hit the top the first of November, and went on to spend the 6 weeks on the chart, four of them in the top 3.  For our number three, we need to take a little walk because our destination is...

...Six Blocks Away, the three-week top dog for Lucinda Williams, who dominated the first part of September.  And that leaves just two more, and the one at number 2 held the top spot for the year for almost ten months!    Almost but not quite for an act whose road took a...

....Peppermint Twist at the very end!  Sweet's 1974 Australia-only release hit the top on February 22nd, completing a near-record 7 week climb to the top (thus they got double-bridesmaided!).

And that leaves us with the #1 for the whole year- and M10 history!  In fact, I have inside info that this week she WILL become the first act to have a song on the M10 for ELEVEN weeks!  The other four-week #1, the last of the Laurie Seal Of Approvals, who else could it be but....

And there you have it- the biggest hits of the M10 2017!  So tune in tomorrow for your regularly scheduled Time Machine- well, kinda- and then next week is the great big Beauty Contest!