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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, October 16, 2017

Oh, boy! Pictures!

Mostly from Saturday and monday...

There was just a deer in that crap... stayed just long enough to say hello...

A few days ago, it looked like any other shelf fungi.  Today- SLIME MOLD!

Did I tell you- part of the clean up from putting in the towers was to PAVE THE TRAIL!  They weren't quite done Saturday, but were by Monday.  Of course. now they'll have to take down those "Caution- 1.2 miles of unimproved trail ahead" signs...

And then there was this bozo- sitting pretty as you please on the bus parking even as the socceristas were arriving for another day.

A groundskeeper said, "Yeah, they like to go out on the soccer fields and poop."  Well, did you ever think to give him a key to the porta-pot?

People were racing into the complex, and I was worried he might get hit trying to flee the scene.  But not to worry...

...Scrappy, ever the diligent detective, learned he had slipped away through the drain tiles.

Later Saturday, we had a visit with Peanut and crew.  Of course, I forgot the camera and had to do these by phone...

Peanut, the "Boss Baby", and big sis Lilly

"Damn right, boss baby.  Watch this!"

Moving on to tonight...

Pretty colors along the river...

Our first trip down the Duck Pond in quite a while.  First we scared the doe, who splashed off through the pond.  Then we scared the buck.  On the other hand, I'm getting better at deer butts.

I think we broke up the date- and was he p.o.ed!

See?  Getting better...

Then she came out, wondering where her big, brave buck got off to...

Hmm... not that way...

So the majority of clean up from the trail tower-work is done.  All that really remains is the work-bridge at the south end, with accompanying warning sign and porta pot, and a wee bit of stone...

...well, actually, about a 15-foot high pile of stone left over.  Oops, Ollie overbought, I guess....

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Sunday Message: Satan, defined

Sunday last I engaged during our morning walk in an imaginary philosophical exchange between myself and an atheist who was intellectually honest enough to allow the discussion point, "Say for a moment, there is a God...", the discussion starting with creation.  Now, science teaches us everything has a beginning.  That even the Big Bang had to come from something else.  Now, there are two ways to answer the question, "What is the Prime Beginning?" and if you are intellectually honest, the two answers are the same- either, "That is something we do not currently understand," and, "That is God."  Whichever one you believe in, you have to logically come to the concept of a Prime Beginning. 

Now, science will tell you that in the range of eternity, that eventually the multiverse will stumble onto a way to create everything- including the life we now live.  That some how, all the many "goldilocks zones" that are needed to explain intelligent life will be hit.  This requires one to believe, according to science, that a universe that could ONLY be created if the Big Bang hit a certain temperature in the first milliseconds- and if it were a ten-thousandth of a degree off in either direction the whole thing would collapse- and that said conditions could be hit by blind chance.  Then, it would ask that we believe that a certain planet, formed at a certain time in the development of said universe, placed at just the right distance from the raging radiations of the galactic core, around  a star of the proper combination of relatively benign radiations, at the right distance to allow the proper temperatures to allow liquid water (not to mention the right gases at its formation to even MAKE water), tilted on its axis just right to have seasons, with a proper sized and distanced counterweight to control its revolution around the star, protected from cosmic debris by a giant planet the proper distance away, with the right amount of mass so that its gravity separates out just the right mix of gases for a livable atmosphere, and a core to create a magnetic field of just the right strength, etc, etc.  All of that happening by chance, because if eternity's eternal, all of that can be stumbled upon.


But now, let us reverse-engineer the topic.  IF we take God at His word, and He planned all that, why make it at all?  Here, we have to take the Bible at its word.  Christ is, for lack of a true way to explain this, the "physical", the "do-it" nature of God.  And the Church, the body of believers, is to be the "Bride Of Christ"- built painstakingly from US, cell by cell, molecule by molecule, to remove all disease, all cancer, all flaws.  Now, go back to a time BEFORE the creation of man, when God first made non-physical servants we call angels.  Just like with us, God wanted angels to serve Him of free will- but how do you produce free will when Your Nature is to be Holy, and holy only?  Say God perceives that the greater any being sees itself, the greater the chances to fall into glorifying itself.  Thus, you create Lucifer, a being as far above the other angels as we are above the ant.

And Lucifer is fine with his place- until he learns the plan God has for making His Bride.  This plan puts him on a MUCH lower rung, and he resents it.  He, and a minority of the other angels- perhaps the other "creme de la creme" angels, we don't know- turn against the plan, hoping to corrupt it, and keep their place.  But how to do it?

And this is where I realized that the plan he chose to corrupt is the same one he uses now.  Give man a little bit of knowledge- just enough to make him attempt to glorify himself.  "Eating the fruit won't kill you," he says to Eve. " No, it will give you KNOWLEDGE of good and evil, that you may BE LIKE UNTO GODS".  Not a lie at all, but certainly not told in a truthful manner.  Eve and her husband got that knowledge of evil and good, because for the first time, they had committed evil; now, they were like God, in that they knew what evil was; but it wasn't a good thing, because the bond with God was severed.  Lucifer left that detail out.

And this is what he has done to cause the most damage THROUGHOUT history.  He gave the "Church Fathers" just enough knowledge to lead them into a church that was corrupted by political power, by money, and by the "knowledge" they alone held- until Luther reminded us what Paul said- "I will know nothing but Christ, and Him crucified".  By sola scriptura, God through Luther gave us another chance.  Or look at Galileo.  Though the "church" forced him to recant what his eyes plainly saw, others proved with KNOWLEDGE that the church was in error- and the church was in error because they somehow misread the scriptures to say that Earth HAD to be central- "knowledge" leading to the glorification of man, and certainly NOT anything that God taught.

And Lucifer AKA Satan has continued to lead man away from God and towards self glorification by giving little tidbits of knowledge, somewhat true in themselves but turned in such a way to disprove God Himself- witness Darwin and the assertion that, because birds in a closed-off ecosystem will adapt to that ecosystem, that means that man himself is an adaptation from a glorified virus that developed into an amoeba, then a fish, then a monkey, etc.  Many are the examples of Satan's circular reasoning, my favorite being the concept of "index fossils"- ones that are found in a certain type of rock and thus we know how old they are because we know the age of the rock.  And we know the age of the rock because, well, it has that fossil in it.

Last week, I touched on Michio Kaku and his brilliant presentation of the theory of quantum mechanics- a theory that, unlike all others, was stumbled onto full-blown, and now scientists are trying to reverse engineer it (with no great success) to find out WHY it works.  And how some scientists, at risk of their careers, grudgingly admit that it  makes it impossible to believe in a creation without a Creator.  And the ones who refuse on the basis that, "We've come this far without relying on superstition, WE'LL figure it all out someday."  We don't need a GOD to figure it out.

A little knowledge, turned just slightly awry, with the motivation of self-glorification.  The sin that felled us then, and the sin that fells us now.  Because the height of Lucifer's "glory" is lies and destruction.  And if it ain't broke, he ain't gonna fix it.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Time Machine Co-ordinates VIXXIV452101357

So today, October 13, 1957, we get a front row seat for The Edsel Show, a musical variety show on CBS, sponsored by Ford to promote their new titular car.  The show went much better than the product; it starred Bing Crosby in a break that opened up television for him to conquer.  The set list included himself and Louis Armstrong reprising their song, Now You Has Jazz, from the film High Society, followed by the first of two medleys Bing did with Frank Sinatra that included Swinging On A Star and Paris In The Spring; Bob Hope joining the pair on The Road To Morocco; Rosemary Clooney; the Four Preps, joined by Bing's son Lindsay on one tune; and a ton more.  As I said, show was great- the product? Well, let Rosemary tell it:

The show was built around the newest Ford offering, the 1958 Edsel. A new vista of motoring pleasure, unlike any other car you've ever seen. The only Edsel I ever saw was one they gave me to drive while I was rehearsing. I came out of the CBS Building, up those little steps to the street where my purple Edsel was waiting, like the Normandie in drydock. Mr. Ford was right behind me, heading for his Edsel. I opened the door of my car and the handle came off. I turned to him, holding it out to him. "About your car . . ."

The show is said to be the oldest videotape in existence....


And welcome to a non-Edsel Time Machine, in which we finish my tour through the Billboard #1 lps; discover who wrote the Auburn fight song (?); mention a little detail I left out on last week's show; kibbitz with Elvis; and announce a new member of the M10 top ten- and a new member of the multiple #1s club!  All that and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, coming up- now!


Two debuts this week, and the first belongs to the familiar faces of Nothing But Thieves, with the title cut from their latest coming in at #10:


So here we are with the King, Elvis Presley, talking Panel Picks.  How many POTMs does this make for you now?

I dunno, man.  five, ten...

Well, maybe not that many, but you and the Beatles, not surprisingly make very frequent appearances.

Uh, yeah, you grabbed me from '57, I dunno nothin' 'bout no beetles...

Oh, yeah, sorry, sir.  Anyway, you have an easy list this week.  Just like last week, a low amount of stations- 11- gave us a low amount of candidates- four.

Yeah, I got this.  Now, first alphabeticalized is Jimmie Rodgers an' Honeycomb, which was at #2 on Cashbox.

Then comes myself, whom you should all vote for, with Jailhouse Rock, which was at... HEY!  This says I was at number ELEVEN???

That's right, but you were also the biggest mover- you went from #50 to #11 on your second week on the chart.

Well, that's okay then, I guess.  The Bobbettes were at #10 with Mr. Lee.

And finally, The Everly Boys were at #5 with Wake Up Li'l Susie.  Hey, what happened to the number uno?

Funny you should mention that, and I'll get to it in a bit.  There were a lot of really good songs that got no votes this week, and we'll take on that topic in a bit.

An' he ain't givin' y'all no clues this week, so get at it and pick ME!


So let's do our first big reveal on the Martin Era 2.0 list of Billboard #1 albums- who had the most weeks at the top with a single lp?

First off, there was a 4-way tie for seventh with 15 weeks.  Those four were:

The My Fair Lady soundtrack
At Large by the Kingston Trio
Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the beetl... er, the Beatles
and Carole King's Tapestry.

At #6 with 16 weeks was Andy Williams' Days Of Wine And Roses.

#5 with 18 weeks was More Of The Monkees, their second disc.

#4 ...

Hey, let me get that.  #4 is the wonderful, handsome Elvis Aaron Presley with the Blue Hawaii soundtrack at 20 weeks.

Thanks, bubba.  You might as well stick around for the other album list here in a bit.  #3 with 20 weeks...

Waitaminit!  Why isn't it Blue Hawaii in third with 20 weeks?

Because, Elvis, the #3 record wasn't DONE with 20 weeks- it just ran out of Martin Era 2.0 to fit the rest of its time in!  And that would be Fleetwood Mac's Rumours, which would have tied for #1 instead, had I counted the 11 weeks on the other side of  the ME2.0 barrier!

At #2 we have Doris Day and the Love Me Or Leave Me soundtrack at 28 weeks.

And #1, with an incredible 31 weeks at the top- hee hee hee, stay tuned for the end reveals!


So this was really unusual in the voting this week, as big hits at #3 (Holly and the Crickets with That'll Be The Day), #4 (Paul Anka's Diana), #6 (Debbie Reynolds and Tammy, which was in its second week of descending after 7 weeks at the top), and #8 (Jerry Lee Lewis and Whole Lotta Shakin').  But the most unusual is the fact that, for the first time, Cashbox's #1 song is our 6D victim!  And for that, we go to the fight song of the University of Auburn, called War Eagle.  Al Stillman and Robert Allen were the prolific songwriters who penned that tune, as well as a few others you may know.  They wrote two BB #2s for the Four Lads- Moments To Remember and No, Not Much.  They did the tune And That Reminds Me, which Della Reese had at #15 a couple weeks ago and Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons would get shafted with a mere #45 in the latter 60's.  they even penned a #5 for the guy that got the Panel kiss of death this week- a tune called It's Not For Me To Say.  That's right, our six degrees victim this week is...

Johnny Mathis, and his big hit Chances Are!!!!!!!!!!


Before I get to the next debut, I wanted to insert something I left out last week.  Remember that the UK #1 was the nearly-banned Lay Down Your Arms by Anne Shelton? Well, over here it was a hit by the Chordettes- and it was last week's fastest mover, jumping 14 places from 50 to 36!


And now, I don't recall how much detail I went into on my Tom Petty obit about the song I mentioned being his last hit on CB.  It was called Walls (Circus), and it was from the soundtrack to the movie She's The One with Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz.  This was a fast paced song with a cool message.  But I stumbled on later on the lp a more acoustic version called Walls (No. 3) that I liked better.  And that version comes in at#8...


Okay, since you can't see what's going on here, I have had not one, but to glaring screw ups attributable either to my lazy hand or my idiot keyboard, so let's try to wrap up before I accidentally delete this post!  The final stat from the lp list is, who had the most #1s?  And here we go!

A three way tie at #9 with 4 lps for Frank Sinatra, the Monkees, and Led Zeppelin...

A three way tie for #6 at 5 for Chicago, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, and the Kingston Trio...

A 2-way at #4 with 6 for the Rolling Stones and the various iterations of McCartney and Wings...

At #3, Elton John with 7...

And you ALL know who the next two are, so let's keep you in suspense just a little longer and give out who ended where with how many for the big reveal.

WHAT??  Man, I got places to be...

Dude, you're in a time machine, you got time!


Stat pack:  Well, we were up to a 60-song chart, of which I knew 15 ( and for some reason wrote 50 in my notes, which didn't even fool ME), so we actually have a #57 in '57- Jimmy Dean with Deep Blue Sea.  This was his first charting single on the pop charts, and BB had it stopping at #67, while #57 was not only this week but its high water mark on CB.

Three of our CB top tens were top ten in the UK this week, which may well be a TM record.  That'll Be The Day was #9 there, Tammy was #3, and the top dog across the pond was Diana.


The remainder of the M10:

Saw You In A Dream (which nearly fell victim to the THIRD keyboard f-up) moves up a spot to #9, and gives us 3 title cuts, which may also be a record.

Darius Rucker moves up two places to #7 with Don't.

Alvvays loses one song this week, but the other, Your Type, moves one to #6.

Refusing to go away easy, Lucinda Williams moves back UP one spot to #5 in her 8th week- and pulls into the #10 all time spot, with Six Blocks Away.

Jana Kramer has done #4, and she does it again with I've Done Love.

Squeeze slips out of the top spot (aren't you glad I didn't say they were "squeezed" out?  Oh, wait, just ignore that) with Innocence In Paradise falling to #3. 

Dent 'n' Frankie remain at #2 with that other title cut, Across The Multiverse.

And the number ones? 

First off, the most weeks at the top for an lp goes to...

...Harry Belafonte with Calypso- and if you guessed this is the lp from which came the Banana Boat Song (Day-o!), you'd be right!  31 weeks for Harry.

The top two of the most albums at #1 list are:

#2 with 8 lps...

....Elvis Presley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's burnt, man.  I'm out!

And at #1, with not 9, not ten, but FIFTEEN #1 albums...

...The Beatles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the top of the M10 list, becoming the 8th act to make multiple trips to the top...

...Ducktails and Light A Candle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel winner, with 5 of the 11 votes, and ready to make my live interesting yet again next week....

....The Everlys and Wake Up Little Susie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Made it without deleting everything, thank God!  Be here for 1958 next week with the Eve

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Martin Fake News

Wow, not only does the actual news suck... for the umpteenth straight day, but even the alleged funny news blows.  In fact, only saw one story worthwhile that wasn't a "(name the animal) gets stuck in/breaks into (name the place)" story or a sexual perversion related deal.  That story comes to us from our friends in Nigeria, where almost 22,000 grade school teachers out of a  total around 33,000 in northern Kaduna State scored less than 75% on tests they themselves administered to 6-YEAR-OLDS.  Needless to say, the State Governor said he will be taking applications for the 25,000 new teaching positions he is about to create.

He might want to avoid the region's e-mail scammers, they aren't often a bright lot.  In fact, here's an example from a missive I got today explaining that I had yet again hit the European lottery.  In the e-mail address section, we find...

To  me 

Note to "me":  Prolly don't want to address it to "me", unless you are sending it to Maisie Williams...

ANYway, since I was getting nowhere in trying to find articles to at least get a smirk from the audience, I thought I would take a page from the NBC primer- go onto a news site, lift a picture, and make up a story to go with it.  So here we go with Martin Fake News!

ITEM:  The US Senate had to break around lunch time when Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was incapacitated after eating the lemon his mother packed in his lunch.  His mom, Julia, explained that she had to pack it because "poor Mitchell so often forgets to wear his dentures and needs nourishment he can suck on..."


While it may have appeared that demoted Cleveland QB Deshone Kizer was joining in the recent NFL protests, it was nothing of the sort.

 "The coach told me to take a seat on the bench," he explained, "but someone had disguised it as a wide receiver and I couldn't find it..."

Coach Hue Jackson confirmed Kizer's explanation.  "If there is one thing that kid can't find," he said, "It's a wide receiver."

ITEM:  Soccer star Neymar has just signed an endorsement contract with Downy Fabric Softener.  Here he demonstrates that, even late in the game, his kit is "April fresh."

ITEM: In an item that is actually not fake, but perhaps not news, I was searching the Moscow Times and found a click-through headline that read, "Russian drivers face bigger fines for not yielding to pedestrians".  Amusingly, when I clicked, I was greeted by THIS picture...

Now, the article BELOW said picture was definitely NOT the story about Russian drivers I was expecting.  Whether the picture went with the article I was looking for or not, I'm not sure.


Moments after reading a BBC article explaining how the contestants in the Kenyan Presidential elections are comparing themselves to Biblical characters such as Joshua and Moses in an effort to capture the nation's rabid Pentecostal vote, US President Donald Trump decided to give it a go, attempting to multiply loaves and fishes for a group of news media.  Later, he sent VP Mike Pence out for Burger King.

ITEM:  Finally, Turkmenistan’s President Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov helped Vladimir Putin celebrate his birthday with a traditional Turkmen delicacy...

Putin, tried to be pleased, but later said, "I rather my puppies basted over a spit..."

"...and skinned..."

Monday, October 9, 2017

My comfort

So I have seen on this day in social media:

A woman who accuses everyone but herself of racism lionized as a hero because she was told by her employer to temper her feed, and did not, and got suspended two weeks, and that is a terrible thing.

Someone who who starts his argument by saying the destruction of an unborn child is not murder, because it is not a child, and ends it by saying that God aborts more children by stillbirths.

Football players who exploit time on TV to stage a protest, and accuse the Vice President of a photo-op when he walks out on THEIR protest.

I have seen people think it is honorable to put up a billboard depicting our President as a Nazi, regardless of the fact that they have apparently forgot what evil TRULY is.

But in all that utter stupidity, I have a comfort.

Isa 51:6  Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look on the earth beneath; for the heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall become old like a garment; and its inhabitants shall die in the same way. But My salvation shall be forever, and My righteousness shall not be broken. 
Isa 51:7  Listen to me, you who know righteousness, the people in whose heart is My Law; do not fear the reproach of men, nor be afraid of their revilings. 
Isa 51:8  For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall eat them like wool; but My righteousness shall be forever, and My salvation from generation to generation. 

I think about Jesus' parable about the Wheat and the Tares.  I suppose one should expect there to be an increasing amount of tares as the harvest draws near.

But I am not going to give any of these people the respect of a reply.  Because Adrian Rogers brought up the point in a sermon broadcast last week, "The fool says in his HEART, there is no God."  And because it is the heart, it cannot be turned by logic or argument as it could if it were an intellectual misread.  People that support reverse racism, people who want to paint anyone who doesn't bow to their idiocy a Nazi, people that cannot tell a living being from unliving tissue (perhaps they should get a brain biopsy), people that... well, you get the point.  You can't argue with people like this because it is a disease of the heart, not something you can talk or argue out.

You either have His Law in your heart, or you don't.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Sunday Message: A god, defined

Yesterday I happened across a Twitter post that showed a link and was titled by the poster "Old Time Religion".  Curious, I clicked and found that, for whatever reason the poster had to show it, it was a site belonging to a group encouraging the worship of the ancient Norse gods.  Now, having studied the subject and even having delved into Rune-type magic back in the "not so young but still stupid" days, I know a fair amount about the ancient gods and myths.  One thing that struck me over and over again, whether the myth be Norse, Greek, Sumerian, Egyptian, was that these "gods" had very little to do with being what I would term "Godly".  In fact, most of them could be described as having human intentions, human intellect, human desires, and human foibles- but with "super powers".  Which then makes sense that every comic book company has a representation in their super-hero books of Thor, Hercules, Zeus, etc.

In other words, the concept of "gods" as created by men is based a lot upon "what would I do if I were god."  And that conception is what makes it so easy for atheists to debate, with catch phrases like, "Oh, you believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, too?", "I would never want to worship a god that does thus-and-so", and other such garbage.  They believe that by attacking God as they perceive Him- a super-powered being that thinks and acts just like us, or how we think we would act if we were Him,- they are casting doubt upon the TRUTH of God.  And they are nowhere close.

I am reading in Isaiah now, and much of it has been a cycle of God's word attacking idols, punishing Israel for accepting them, and showing glimpses of the Messiah to come.  One particular passage seems central to the Godly definition of being God, and that comes in Isaiah 41:21-24.  In it, God defies the idols to "Present their case".  In effect, He challenges them to do one thing in particular which separates Him from them:

Let them bring forth and show us
what will happen;
Let them show the former things, 
what they were;
that we may consider them, 
and know the latter end of them;
or declare to us the things to come. (V22)

To put in plain language, through the Pentateuch, God has told the tale of history, what has happened, how it has a bearing on the end of things.  The very prophet speaking is a proof of this.  In Chapter 44, he speaks of the coming Persian king Cyrus being God's "Shepherd," despite the fact that Isaiah was speaking at least 100 years before Babylon took Jerusalem, and 80 years BEFORE THE BIRTH of Cyrus of Persia!  So God is saying, part of being God is knowing the totality of history, and how the beginning ties to the end, and how the idols can't match that.

But there is more.  The passage goes on:

Show the things that are to come
That we may know that you are gods,
Yes, do good or evil,
That we may be dismayed and see it together. (V23)

Indeed, the idols back then did nothing but sit there.  And what of the idols of today?  I've quoted from Michio Kaku's books many times; he chases things through the words of others all the way to the precipice where some agree that common sense shows that even quantum research points out the need for a creator, and the stubbornness of those who won't see it that way- but without actually making a judgement himself.  Those stubborn "scientists" (unfortunately the majority, at least in word) God actually covers just a bit down the way:

Isa 48:3  I have foretold the former things from the beginning; and they went out of My mouth; and I made them hear; I acted suddenly; and they came about. 
Isa 48:4  Because I knew that you are obstinate, and your neck is an iron sinew and your brow bronze. 
Isa 48:5  And I declared it to you from the beginning. Before it happened I revealed it to you; lest you should say, My idol has done them, and my graven image, and my molten image, has commanded them. 
Isa 48:6  You heard; see it all; and will you not declare? I have shown you new things from this time, even hidden things, and you did not know them. 
Isa 48:7  They are created now, and not from the beginning; even before the day when you did not hear them; lest you should say, Behold, I knew them. 

And so, science scurries to build a new idol, which can say, "I told you about this,"  but every step God is ahead of them.

And that new thing, which even the idols today can't comprehend?  Why, I told you that back at the start- the story of the Messiah woven through Isaiah's prophecy:

the Redeemer who will thresh the mountains (41:14-15)
who will not cry out, nor break the bruised reed (42:1-4)
who is God right beside the Father (44:6)
who will save both Jew and Gentile (49:5-6)
and would suffer to make it so (52:13-15).

The Norse gods?  They have a future plan.  It's called Ragnarok:  Everyone dies, then a few get resurrected to start the process again.

The Hindu gods?  Shiva had his son die- cut his head off himself, and sewed an elephant's head back on him.

The Greek gods?  They changed their names and became Roman citizens, apparently.

Only a God beyond our understanding could make all things in a way we'd never quite understand with a goal in mind that had nothing to do with lust, or greed, or evil.  And since a God by definition is something BEYOND man and nature, that should be both proof and comfort.

Friday, October 6, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXIII45110656

We move today to October 6th, 1956.  "Today in 1956, Dr. Albert B. Sabin announced that his live-attenuated oral polio vaccine was ready for mass testing. The announcement came during a time when polio epidemics ravaged cities worldwide. Ultimately, a successful Sabin vaccine was used to eradicate polio throughout the world." (from the Sabin Vaccine website)

Welcome to this week's Time Machine, where I glean one more week of minutiae on the lp #1s before the big reveal; a feature this week brought up by one otherwise throwaway comment; and the domination of this week's UK chart by that boy from Michigan (?).  And we go on a "Chart-along with Mitch!"  Off like a (polio) shot we go...


First thing's first:  I wanted to do a little chat about these charts I so love to play with, vis-a-vis the recent death of Tom Petty.  Now, my all time favorite- and the song from which I took the lyrics at the end of my eulogy- is from his very first lp, the song American Girl.  It was released at the time, and didn't chart... later on, after he and the Heartbreakers were a household name, they re-released it and it bubbled under at #109.

And yet... go on Spotify, and see his most played tracks.  American Girl is tops, leading Mary Jane's Last Dance by not quite a million plays, and 10 million ahead of any other of his songs. But, the "charts" couldn't register it.  It is a very subjective game we play here, my friends.


That said, let's bring in this week's POTM, Mitch Miller!  Ready to do this, Mitch?

Well, you know, I don't know if I can handle this.

Dude, we had EIGHT stations.  There are FOUR candidates.  What can't you handle?

Well, most of it isn't really my kind of music.  I'm not a big fan of... well, that rock and roll stuff.

Yeah, I read a quote by you where you said,   "Rock 'n' roll is musical baby food: it is the worship of mediocrity, brought about by a passion for conformity."  I'm sure there are tons of rock fans who might think that applies more to you than to them.

But, MY style of music is about nuance, about style.  It is more than just making noise on a guitar, or a...a drum...

And one of your more popular songs was a crib of This Old Man, correct?


Sigh, well, that's another one that worked out so well.  Anyway, like I said, four songs, four chances to get this one .  And one song got the only more than ones out of this!  So was the big winner:

 Hugo Winterhalter and Canadian Sunset, the #2 song this week;
Elvis and Don't Be Cruel, the top dog;
Jim Lowe and The Green Door, at #9;
or Bill Doggett and Honky Tonk at #3?


So, Bobby G  mentioned last week that Lucinda Williams's tumble from #1 to #4 was kinda big of a drop.  So I decided to look into the statistics of the thing.  In the Martin Era 2.0, the most common occurrence was a drop to #2, not surprisingly.  In fact, the ME2.0 50's period saw it be a drop to #2 over 70% of the time.  That number slowly started to widen as the years went on, though.  It wasn't until Sonny James and Young Love dropped to #6 in 1957 that anyone dropped that far;  it would only match that 3 times over the next 6 years.

Like every other subject in music, the Beatles changed everything.  Can't Buy Me Love became the first to drop all the way to #7.  And while that remained an aberration for a while, the years 1964-66 saw a dramatic shift; drops to #2 only happened 37% of the time, while drops to #3 were at 35%, and even drops to #4 were at 16%.  Then things smoothed out again, but the drops to #2 escaped the sixties with only a 53% occurrence.

The change of decade skewed things again- drops to #3 led 37%-27% from 1969-71.  And again, things settled for a bit- until 1974, when Helen Reddy's Leave Me Alone became the second #1 to drop all the way to #8.  It got worse than that later, but for now, let me close the first part of this story by telling you what the overall was.  From the years of the ME2.0, the average place dropped to by a #1 song were-

#2, 44.4%; #3, 24.6; #4, 15.5;  #5, 8.9; #6, 3.9; #7, 1.5; #8, 0.7; #9 (yes, there were some that dropped that far), 0.3;  #10 (egads!), 0.1.  Later on, I'll give you the biggest dropping songs, along with how the M10 stacks up.


Speaking of the M10, the week's lone debut comes from The Japanese House, at #10...


So this week's first category of #1 lp trivia is those that were live lps.  There were 14 ME2.0 Live lp #1s, and the first man to score one- in fact, he scored the first two-

-was Bob Newhart, with his comedy lps The Button-Down Mind Of Bob Newhart, and The Button Down Mind Strikes Back.  Also here were the Allan Sherman comedy discs My Son The Folk Singer, My Son The Nut, and My Son The Celebrity.  Music wise the first was Judy Garland's Judy At Carnegie Hall; then we get more Rock-Era-ish with:

Recorded Live, The Twelve Year Old Genius by Little Stevie Wonder
The Beach Boys Concert, which was the first and only official live disc from the original line up before Brian stepped away from the live act
At San Quentin by Johnny Cash
4-Way Street by Crosby Stills Nash and Young
The big Elvis comeback lp, Aloha From Hawaii Via Satellite
Frampton Comes Alive!
Wings Over America
and Barry Manilow Live.

Now, the last subject I thought I might take on definitely includes the Little Stevie Wonder lp- dumbest names for a record.  I give Stevie a second nod here with the most long winded title devised purely for its alliterative value, Fulfillingness's First Finale.
Others I take note of (or shots at) are:

Cat Stevens, Catch Bull At Four.  It has some deep far east religious significance, but to an unwashed American savage, it sounds like he's getting off work and he's gonna get chewed by his wife when he gets home.

Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only The Piano Player from Elton John.  One wonders if he was wearing the duck suit at the time.

Goat's Head Soup, the Rolling Stones.  I think they put that big picture of pissed-off Billy Preston in the gatefold just so you wouldn't laugh.

Planet Waves, Bob Dylan.  Can't decide whether this is an astronomical phenomenon I'm unfamiliar with, or a workout club for surfer dudes.

Captain Fantastic And The Brown-Dirt Cowboy, also Elton John.  I could prolly also through in Honky Chateau here too, but why overload?

And let's wrap it up with Songs I Sang On The Jackie Gleason Show by Frank Fontaine, who would have also been one of two acts I never heard of until I learned he was Crazy Guggenheim.  Now that list is just left with Johnny Maddox, who had the second #1 of the ME2.0 with Crazy Otto.


So our six degrees vic this week were the sister duo of (real names here) Patience and Prudence with Tonight You Belong To Me at #4.

This was an oldie but goodie and charted several times when first composed- Franklin Baur took it to #5 and Irving Kaufman to #11 in 1926, Gene Austin (one of the first crooners) to #1 and jazz dude Roger Wolfe Kahn to #11 in 1927.

After P&P got it to #4 in '56, it got another flurry of life, with the Lennon Sisters and Lawrence Welk (in their only official record team-up) taking it to #15, and Karen Chandler and Johnny Wakely (one of the last singing cowboys) to #49 later in the year.  Finally, Dottie West (of duets with Kenny Rogers fame) took it to 30 on the country charts in 1977.


Meanwhile over in the UK, Anne Shelton was on top with Lay Down Your Arms, which almost got banned for being anti-war while the British were knickers-deep in the Suez Crisis.  The highest song making appearances on both sides was Doris Day's Whatever Will Be (Que Sera Sera), which was #2 there and #7 here.  But the biggest oddity I saw was that Bill Haley and his Comets were at #5 with Rockin' Thru The Rye.
And at #12 with Rock Around The Clock.
And tied for 13th with Razzle Dazzle.
And at #16 with The Saints Rock 'N' Roll.
AND at #20 with See Ya Later Alligator!

So to re-assess: BH&C had 14 top 30's in the US of A.  They had 5 in the UK THIS WEEK.

Yeah, let's see the Beatles do... they WHAT?  Uh, never mind...


So before we go to the M10, how did it stack up statistically?  Well, drops to #2 dominate here as well, just not as much.  30.5% for a drop to #2; #3, 25.4; #4 was actually higher than 3, 27.1; #5, 8.5; #6, 6.8; and the lone #9 (Strawberry Runners' When We Were Good), 1.7.

So who dropped the furthest on Cashbox?

Four dropped from #1 to #8- the aforementioned Leave Me Alone, plus Gary Puckett and the Union Gap and Lady Willpower, Freddy Fender's Before The Next Teardrop Falls, and BTO with You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet.

Two songs fell to #9- David Geddes' Run Joey Run and Harry Chapin's Cats In The Cradle.

And the only song to drop to #10...

Eddie never made it to the top on Billboard, and they had a much more savage list of biggest droppers, with Billy Preston's Nothing From Nothing and the Spinners/Dionne Warwick's Then Came You falling to FIFTEEN, and Barry White's Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby, Andy Kim's Rock Me Gently, Stevie Wonder's You Haven't Done Nothing, and BTO again dropping to #12.


The rest of the M10:

Darius Rucker moves up a spot to #9 with Don't.

Dark Side Of The Gym is stuck again- this time at #8.  I listened to The National's lp, Sleep Well Beast, Wednesday night- a lot of mellow, slightly odd (and some more than slightly) songs that would be a great curl-up with sweetie by the fireplace music... but, using my favorite Tom Petty quote, "The A&R man says, I don't hear a single..."

Alvvays moves up 2 to #7 with Your Type, and down 3 to #5 with In Undertow.  Win some, lose some.

Two more down for Lucinda Williams and Six Blocks Away to #6.

Jana Kramer sneaks up one more spot to #4 with I've Done Love.

Ducktails swoops from #6 to 3 with Light A Candle.

Bet you weren't expecting this- Dent and Frankie slip to #2 with Across The Multiverse.

And the new #1 on the M10...

...Squeeze with Innocence In Paradise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel?  C'mon, you hafta ask?

Elvis and Don't Be Cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week, 1957!  Get yer Chevy ready!