|Damnit, I just styled!|
The wonderful source of this post's title will take a minute, but I had fun getting there, so maybe you will as well. It all started yesterday- sort of...
And it involves an incident where my place of work made about every mistake we are good at on one order. We started with a rush order, which because it was both hot and a prototype, did not have proper paperwork ready when the time came to get it cut (AKA mistake #1). In such a case, I am given a "mini" (think blueprint) with the item number, fabric color, and hull # for the individual boat it goes to. Now, I used to just give it a "Yeah, whatever", cut the stupid thing, and not really care when or if they actually got me the paperwork. But right before inventory, the production manager (Let's call him "Bob") douched one of these up and I ended up cutting something twice for no reason. Since then, I write the hull # and fabric on my scoreboard, and erase it when the proper paperwork comes through so I can issue the fabric amount and print out any labels they may still need.
So I cut this one yesterday, write the info on my scoreboard, and wait for the paperwork. It did not come my way that day.
Today, though, about 9 AM, I got a pair of prototypes with paperwork. The first one was a new number, and while it was cutting, I checked the other, and wa-lah, there was yesterday's cut. Now, my floor boss (Let's call him "Brad") didn't check my board (mistake #2) because he was a bit distracted. You see, several weeks ago we got an enormously expensive new piece of, er, equipment, that was supposed to make life a breeze for certain of my workmates. This of course has not yet happened because our production engineer (let's call him "Pete") was supposed to be "getting it dialed in", and several (but fewer) weeks later, our plant manager's boss (Let's call him "Mark") stopped off and let him know that it was going waaay too slow (basically because he hadn't really got to it yet). And TODAY, Mark returned to do a surprise checkup on Pete, who was not much farther along yet, which meant Brad had to help maintenance get all the moving around of stuff for the machine done which hadn't been done because maintenance had been too busy trying to help Pete get the damn thing functional. So mistakes numbers 3 and 4 are basically "we don't know what we're doing", and "thus we aren't doing it".
Back to the main story: So Brad goes to the sewing boss (Let's call her "Debbie") and she says yes, this was sewn yesterday. But Brad then made the wise move (after letting me know I was right) to check with Bob to see if it still needed labels, etc. When Bob saw it, he knew something was funny about the whole deal, and went to check on things himself.
Here I am going to add a crucial interlude to the story by mentioning that at some point in the morning, I walked past somebody's radio that was playing Dust In The Wind by Kansas. My brain, always on the lookout for a new meaningless sound loop, began playing the song over and over- with one little problem. It changed Dust to "Ducks".
This was still in my head as yet more problems surfaced in the area, Pete was looking at the new machine's computer with his head in his hands, and at long last, Bob showed up with the Complete Story.
1- the mini I got yesterday had the WRONG hull # on it. So what I had on the scoreboard was meaningless. (Mistake #5: dumb engineers part A.)
2- That cover, which I cut yesterday, was the right item number for the mini- but the cover itself was NOT correct on my system, and thus when delivered was totally douched up for no matter WHICH boat they put it on. (Mistake #6: dumb engineers part B.)
3- The first prototype I cut at 9 AM was a replacement for yesterday's cover, with the RIGHT hull number this time.
4- The second one, with yesterday's hull number, was a completely different boat, and was the first time I ACTUALLY cut for that hull. Which makes Mistake #7, Bob needs to keep a better check on what his underlings are doing.
So now we have the "every mistake in the book" part done, and that leaves us with Ducks In The Wind. Which, by this time, I thought was highly appropriate to our work situation. So I added lyrics to the thing, which I shall now share with you.
Hurricane of stupid pushing everyone
All we've Done
Full of messing up and all must be re-done
Ducks in the wind,
all we are is ducks in the wind.
Same old song
someone left a part out, and it's incomplete
the BOM* is wrong
Fabric's full of holes and little Chinese feet**
Ducks In The Wind,
All we are is ducks in the wind ohhh oh
Quick, hang on
The wind will cast our feathers to the earth and sky
We'll lose our tails
And Tim*** will make us work eternal overtime
Ducks in the wind,
all we are is ducks in the wind
Everyone is ducks in the wind.....
* Bill Of Materials
** True story. Foot prints in the coating HAS happened.
*** Plant manager.
I intend to take the song back to Tim tomorrow. After yesterday, I'm betting he can use the laugh.
Final Note: All names in this story are totally non-fictitious, except for one. I'll let you guess which one that is.